The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 45

Man Repairs Butter Door

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently repaired his refrigerator butter door. "The clear plastic door is on the inside of the refrigerator door. It pivots up and down on pegs and prevents the butter from falling out. When I opened the refrigerator door the other day, perhaps too quickly, the butter door popped out, fell on the floor, and a piece broke off one end. The glue bottle said to clamp the two pieces together for best adhesion, but the butter door is all curves and angles so clamping was impractical. My repair has been holding up fine after a week." In a follow up report, McDonnell says he put strapping tape on both sides of the break for extra strength. "It's not pretty," he says, "but no one except the family ever sees it."

Man Replaces Five Smoke Detector Batteries

Joe McDonnell, 78 and an unlicensed electrician, recently replaced the batteries in the smoke detectors at a friend's house this week. "My friend had shoulder replacement surgery last month and, for comfort, had been sleeping in a recliner. But on the first night the chirping from a weakening smoke detector battery kept her awake so she got a stepladder and removed the battery. She asked if I would put the detector back on the ceiling. Smoke detectors come down easier than they go up. I volunteered to replace the batteries in the four other ceiling detectors since we had the ladder out. I needed a short break between number 3 and 4 detectors to rest my shoulders." In an interview with reporters McDonnell says that as he and his friend were having coffee and cookies after the new batteries had been installed they could hear a chirp every few minutes "My friend recalled that she had turned off the electrical breaker for the detectors when her sleep had first been disturbed. With the breaker back on, the chirping stopped."

Squib Cellar

We love AI when it does our work for us; then get mad at it when it does a sloppy job. 

Truth cannot be made truer, but we do need to constantly scrape off the lies and heresies that grow like mold on its flanks. 

Riding on the celebrity’s ship, you’re a happy dude

If you're not on board, you find the ship's wake rude

Homophobic parents breathe a sigh of relief when their children get married to someone of the opposite sex. 

Then they start worrying about the grandchildren. 

When downsizing, don’t get rid of friends who you bring joy. 

We’re told to examine our beliefs, but I view my beliefs as a finger in the dyke. 

If I pull one out, the deluge will follow.