Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, September 12, 2023 In the Mood for a Marathon

The traditional date for the Battle of Marathon is September 12, 490 BC.  The Battle of Marathon was a pivotal moment in ancient Greek history. It was the first time that the Greeks had defeated the Persians in battle, and it set the stage for the eventual defeat of the Persian Empire.

But what if things had gone differently? What if the Greeks had lost the battle? Here’s a humorous take on what might have happened:

The Persians had won the Battle of Marathon, and they were feeling pretty good about themselves. They had defeated the mighty Greeks, and they were ready to take over the world.

Matching beards, but individualized skirts

But then something strange happened. The Persians started to get sick. They were vomiting and having diarrhea, and they didn’t know what was wrong.

It turns out that the Greeks had spiked their water supply with laxatives. The Persians were so busy running to the bathroom that they couldn’t fight back when the Greeks attacked again.

Trojan brand laxatives...for the enemy within

The Greeks won the second battle, and they went on to defeat the Persians once and for all. And that’s how the Battle of Marathon was won with a little bit of trickery and a lot of poop.  Which, of course, is why today people runs in a marathon.

If the preceding offended you, please like and subscribe to our page of little known Greek history.  Thanks!