Wannaskan Almanac for January 31, 2023 Y

Recently I found an article called the 1000 Most Asked "Why" Questions on Google.  I am not going to answer all of them, but I will attempt to answer the top 10.  Enjoy!

1.  Why is there a leap day?  This question apparently gets asked over 2 million times a month!  With so many inquiring minds I figured I had better jump on it!  (see what I did there...ha ha!)  The reason there is a leap day is to celebrate Van Halen's number 13 hit, Panama.  The members of Van Halen, as well as several members of the royal family and at least two US senators, felt that the song was poised to Jump much higher.  It never seemed to make that leap, and we remember their pain every four years.  

2.  Why is the sky blue?  This question is not nearly as popular as the Van Halen question, checking in with an average of 135,000 queries per month.  This is a trick question.  Shortly before midnight I went out to check if the sky really was blue and much like I suspected it wasn't.  It was black, with little flecks of yellow.  Whoever did this picture got it totally wrong.

Perhaps blue paint was cheaper?

3.  Why you always lying?  This question ties with number two at 135,000 searches per month.  It gets dropped to number 3 due to bad grammar.  The question should read "Why are you always lying?" and the answer is quite simple.  I tired.  So I lie.  Get some sleep.  Wake up.  Tell fibs to everyone.  It my life.

4.  Why is my poop green?  According to my sources this question gets asked 74,000 times per month.  This is a disturbing revelation about how many people are checking over their poop colors.  Nevertheless I will let you know.  Your poop is very organic.  Some people have a green thumb.  You have a green bum.  Your green poop can lead to an organic experience for your garden, growing some of the most pleasant flowers.  You are a very lucky person!

5.  Why should we hire you?  This question gets asked over 60,000 times a month, which is a surprise because I rarely send out a resume.  Resume...that is an interesting word.  I paused my resume service once, then after that I decided to resume my resume service.  Anyway, the answer to why you should hire me is you shouldn't.  I don't like to work.  I just like watching others work.  Hey, you asked...

Could use a little padding

6.  Why are cats afraid of cucumber?  More grammar fail.  It is true though.  Cats are afraid of cucumbers.  I am not sure why I never noticed it before.  Come to think of it, I have never seen a cat on a cucumber farm.  Actually, I have never seen a cucumber farm either.  This one leaves me in kind of a pickle.  Perhaps the cats think that cucumbers are their poop and that those poops have turned large and green.  That is my best guess.  

7.  Why do dogs eat grass?  After reading this I figured I would get my dog to eat some grass.  He is pretty high strung so I thought it would mellow him out.  We are only a few miles away from Colorado so I packed him up in the car and we headed over.  He wouldn't eat it, even after I assured him that it was perfectly legal.  This question has been debunked.  

No to grass, yes to biting your...

8.  Why are cats scared of cucumbers?  Uh, see number 6.  And thanks for fixing your grammar!

9.  Why do cats purr?  That question gets asked nearly 50,000 times a month.  It is pretty simple though.  Cats can't remember the words.  So they hum...or in other words...purr.  They are singing.  Just like Cat Stevens, except without the use of words.  

10.  Why did I get married?  Another question that gets searched up around 50,000 times per month.  The answer is because you like annoying the same person every day.  Or it could be love.  Valentine's Day is coming you know.  Gotta be mushy for at least that day!

Thanks for reading.  Remember:  We at the Almanac are always willing to push the envelope.  They are a great way for securing a letter that you wish to mail.