Wannaskan Almanac for September 15, 2020 Miss Understanding 2020

Hi, and thanks for joining me for today's Wannaskan Almanac.  

Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.  

Whenever someone says they walked a mile in my shoes, I can't help but hope that they don't have athlete's foot.

Of course, even with athlete's foot you can still be a fungi.

Whenever someone says that close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, I can't help but think that a great invention would be horse grenades.

Whenever someone reads that last comment and goes, "huh?" and scrunches up their eyes, I can't help but wonder if I should have said hand shoes instead.

Whenever someone says they went camping, I think to myself...that isn't for me.  It seems like it would be intense.

Whenever someone says they are whetting their appetite I think to myself...they better not try sleeping in my bed.

Whenever I hear the saying, "It's a dog eat dog world," I think...so that is why they are always smelling and licking each other.

Whenever my wife says she is going to give me a peace of her mind I find myself wondering afterwards what peace means inside her head.

Whenever I hear that someone felt like an escaped goat I think to myself...now that would be wonderful and freeing.

Whenever my server at a restaurant asks me if I would like super salad, I always say that would be super!

Whenever someone says they are quitting smoking cold turkey I start to think about getting one of those smokers and trying it myself.  

Have a wonderful day!