You know, you never know what you might learn when reading the Wannaskan Almanac. Much of what you read can be attributed to an overactive imagination or a misrepresentation of the facts...but even then, you are learning something.
You see, you seldom see facts clouding your vision while reading this prestigious blog. There are writers who are pros at prose and others who don't have the time to make the words...uh...sound alike. There is a lot of fiction, opinion, and bald-faced lies (mostly on Tuesdays) but it is all useful words to hide in your brain. Then if someone is stringing you a line you can share something from the Almanac and even point to it as evidence in philosophical discussion.
Anyway, on to today's important stuff, like a light-hearted look at what happened on this day in history.
1262 AD: The Flemish Dutch coast was hit by a huge storm. Politicians in the area were quick to blame the terrible weather on "opwarming van de aarde"...which they attributed to local sailors who were using too big of sails on their boats. Alarmist Aart der Goor tried to get everyone to invest in green sails which, although they were the same size, would greatly improve his finances. History doesn't detail how it all ended up.
1547 AD: Edward VI becomes King of England. He was only 9 years old at the time. It was shortly after his inauguration that bedtimes and cell phone restrictions for English children were removed. And nobody was required to eat brussel sprouts anymore.
1671 AD: Henry Morgan, a British pirate, captured Panama City from the Spanish. Captain Morgan apparently sent several cases of spiced rum to the Spanish defenders, who were eventually too drunk to defend their holdings properly. Apparently it was a bad decision for them to "Live like the Captain."
1887 AD: Work begins on the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Only one of the following statements is false...can you figure it out without looking?
a. It was built as an entrance arch for the 1889 World's Fair.
b. It was the tallest structure in the world until 1930.
c. It was only scheduled to stand for 20 years and was supposed to be dismantled in 1909.
d. In 2007, a woman with an "objectum sexual" married the tower and changed her name to Erika La Tour Eiffel.
e. Hundreds of films have used the tower as either a backdrop or prop.
The current tallest structure in the world is the Burj Khalifa. It is 2722 feet tall. The truly amazing part of this building is that it is made entirely out of playing cards. Of course they removed the jokers when they built it, that's just common sense.
The tallest structure in the USA is One World Trade Center. It is 1792 feet tall. It is the tenth tallest structure in the world. Canada has the CN Tower, which is 1815 feet tall. It is the tallest structure in the western hemisphere, and 9th tallest in the world.
If you guessed that all 5 of the options above about the Eiffel Tower were true, then you were right. It is just one of the ways we try to mess with you at the Wannaskan Almanac.
You see, you seldom see facts clouding your vision while reading this prestigious blog. There are writers who are pros at prose and others who don't have the time to make the words...uh...sound alike. There is a lot of fiction, opinion, and bald-faced lies (mostly on Tuesdays) but it is all useful words to hide in your brain. Then if someone is stringing you a line you can share something from the Almanac and even point to it as evidence in philosophical discussion.
Anyway, on to today's important stuff, like a light-hearted look at what happened on this day in history.
1262 AD: The Flemish Dutch coast was hit by a huge storm. Politicians in the area were quick to blame the terrible weather on "opwarming van de aarde"...which they attributed to local sailors who were using too big of sails on their boats. Alarmist Aart der Goor tried to get everyone to invest in green sails which, although they were the same size, would greatly improve his finances. History doesn't detail how it all ended up.
1547 AD: Edward VI becomes King of England. He was only 9 years old at the time. It was shortly after his inauguration that bedtimes and cell phone restrictions for English children were removed. And nobody was required to eat brussel sprouts anymore.
1671 AD: Henry Morgan, a British pirate, captured Panama City from the Spanish. Captain Morgan apparently sent several cases of spiced rum to the Spanish defenders, who were eventually too drunk to defend their holdings properly. Apparently it was a bad decision for them to "Live like the Captain."
1887 AD: Work begins on the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Only one of the following statements is false...can you figure it out without looking?
a. It was built as an entrance arch for the 1889 World's Fair.
b. It was the tallest structure in the world until 1930.
c. It was only scheduled to stand for 20 years and was supposed to be dismantled in 1909.
d. In 2007, a woman with an "objectum sexual" married the tower and changed her name to Erika La Tour Eiffel.
e. Hundreds of films have used the tower as either a backdrop or prop.
The current tallest structure in the world is the Burj Khalifa. It is 2722 feet tall. The truly amazing part of this building is that it is made entirely out of playing cards. Of course they removed the jokers when they built it, that's just common sense.
The tallest structure in the USA is One World Trade Center. It is 1792 feet tall. It is the tenth tallest structure in the world. Canada has the CN Tower, which is 1815 feet tall. It is the tallest structure in the western hemisphere, and 9th tallest in the world.
If you guessed that all 5 of the options above about the Eiffel Tower were true, then you were right. It is just one of the ways we try to mess with you at the Wannaskan Almanac.
I did some fact checking and amazingly, all your facts are true in a warped kind of way.
ReplyDeleteVive l'absurdité!
Fortunately I have Dutch language in my linguistic repertoire, so I'm happy to say that the Dutch "opwarming van de aarde" is the 1262 A.D. Dutch way of saying global warming. :)
ReplyDeleteEen leuke blogpost!