I Miss Florida
I went to a convenience store last weekend and as the young cashier rang up my purchase, I asked her, “So did the groundhog see its shadow?” for no more reason than just to make conversation.
She looked at me blankly, not smiling or frowning. I could see her thinking and it came to me that although I thought I spoke succinctly and was careful not to slur my words or throw my arms and hands about erratically for emphasis that she had no idea what I was talking about.
She didn’t know what to say or how to react. I saw she was replaying in her mind what had just transpired, how I had come into the store, said ‘Hi’, and walked to the refrigerator area, stopped, realized I needed nothing there, turned and walked back to the cash register, and asked to purchase a Gopher 5 lottery ticket, then asked her, “Did the groundhog see its shadow?”
“How was she to respond?” she obviously thought, and went on thinking, “What did he mean by that inquiry? I know him as a regular customer, old enough to be anybody’s grandfather, a kindly man who smiles at me when he comes into the store and asks me how I’m doing--and once again, I wonder what he means, and how to answer.
He can see I’m just standing here watching cars and trucks and snowmobiles and four-wheelers pull into the pumps, people walk into the store, watching for shoplifters, texting my honey--(that’s none of his business!)--and if he had worked a day in the current century he’d already know what I am doing, he wouldn’t have to ask “How?” Anybody could do this job, geesh, and I’ll bet none of them would know, “So did the groundhog see its shadow?”
Is it some kind of old guy joke used interchangeably with “How you doin’?” followed up with ‘So did the groundhog see its shadow?’
Am I supposed to laugh heartily or just smile and nod? I mean it’s like somebody asking, “How are you today?” when they don’t really care or want to know--and if you’d start to tell them, well they don’t have time to listen.
Did someone tell him that yesterday I felt sick with a queasy stomach and a headache and I thought I had the flu, which is really nasty from what I’ve heard, but nobody has told me they have it, nor have I asked, “Do you have the flu?” Why would I ask that?
I know people, like this old guy, are just being friendly, so maybe I should know how to answer them and say something back that they would know like, “Sixteen and a half feet is a what?” How much is a hectare? What welding rod do I use for stainless steel? What’s the difference between a woodchuck and a groundhog?” “What did a Farmall cost when new?” Was there really just one shooter in the JFK assassination?”
Do you know the words to the song “Bushel and a Peck”
Can you sing it?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTeKfyJkCZQ
I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I'm talkin' in my sleep
About you, about you
'Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your purdy neck I do
A doodle oodle oh
A doodle oodle oodle oh doo
I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck though you make my heart a wreck
Make my heart a wreck and you make my life a mess
Make my life a mess, yes a mess of happiness
About you, about you
'Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your purdy neck I do
A doodle oodle ooh doo
A doodle oodle oodle ooh doo
I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and it beats me all to heck
It beats me all to heck, how I'll never tend the farm
Never tend the farm when I wanna keep my arm
About you, about you
'Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your purdy neck I do
A doodle oodle ooh
A doodle oodle oodle oh doo
A doodle oodle oodle oh doo
A doodle oodle ooh doo doo
How old was this particular cashier? Eighteen months?
ReplyDeleteI'm getting mad just thinking about this encounter.
Every convenience store giveaway calendar has Groundhog Day on it, damn it!
No, this cannot be. No one could be so disconnected from the world around them and still function as a cashier.
I think she was having you on, Steve. I really do.
By the way, have you thanked a periodic table today? Yes, it's National Periodic Table Day. We wouldn't have salt without it.
I visited with Marion Solom yesterday and she said, at the IGA store even 'way down in Indiantown, an employee there greeted her saying, "¡Feliz día de la marmota!", which she presumed mean, "Happy Groundhog's day!" Such nice people those, even knew about Groundhog's Day although they couldn't care less whether the marmot sees its shadow or not. Marion said it was 78 degrees there Thursday. It's a dirty rotten shame they are missing all this cold and snow.
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