At the end of 2018, I’ve decided it’s time that I share some “squibettes” – not by me – that gift belongs to the Chairman. The squibettes I’m sharing are better known as quotes, and they are from people a whole lot more famous than I am. Come to think of it, I’m more infamous than famous. Actually, I’m not famous at all! But as usual, I digress.
Below, please enjoy the following takes on the passing of the old year by a variety of people, starting with Mark Twain, and ending with Jay Leno. W. H. Auden, and P. J. O’Rourke. Bring these guys (and unfortunately, they are all guys) into the New Year for a few yucks when you need them. Hopefully, the Chairman will have granted us even better year-end squibservations.
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"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." Bill Vaughan
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"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” Bill Vaughn
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"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!" Joey Adams
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"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account." Oscar Wilde
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“New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.” James Agate
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"New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive." Jay Leno
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"The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears." Wystan Hugh (W.H.) Auden
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"The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to." P.J. ORourke
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Here’s wishing you all happiness and love in all the years of your lives.
From Beltrami Island Forest – Jack Pine Savage
Aye, JPS, your selections reminded me of a long way off New Year's eve I had all but forgotten--well, until me memory was jogged by your man there Mr. Rourke--about being so drunk that you kiss the person you're married to when the ball drops.
ReplyDeleteFortunately, she was not that drunk, and I have me doubts she had but one drink--if any, the lovely lass she was, and 'twas the same for me, as I had just arrived to the party accompanying a friend who knew of it but, as meself, wasn't really invited. Our fortunes being as they were, there in the vicinity of Drake University in Des Moines, Iowa, the rapidly approaching new year of 1970 very soon upon us, me friend disappeared in search of anyone familiar holding something worthy of his search and potential glee. I simply stood still, the timid individual I was at the time, just trying to fit in, invisible-like.
Who stepped out next to me from a clustered group was the slender long-haired lass I mention above, who at the stroke of twelve turned unhesitantly toward me and kissed me on the lips, "Happy New Year" and in an instant was gone.
I was greatly pleased, and so sought her out for possibly more, hoping we could celebrate New Year's Day, Chinese New Year, Groundhog Day, Mardi Gras, Presidents' Day, Valentine's Day, Purim, St. Patrick's Day, Easter and Passover, April Fool's Day, May Day, Cinco de Mayo, Mother's Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Father's day, 4th of July, Bastille Day, Labor Day, Columbus Day, Halloween, Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, Thanksgiving, Christmas and quite possibly Boxing Day. I was hopeful. But, alas, not lucky.
The very next time I saw her, she was holding her husband's hand connected to the arm of the very same individual who my friend had sought. My hopes were dashed. Yet, 1970 had started out beautifully.
Thanks JPS.
You, WW, "timid"? Naw! "Invisible"? Hardly! Exotic? Oh yeh! Loyal friend? Most certainly.
ReplyDeleteConsummate write? Yes! Yes! Yes! And so much more.
Loved hearing about "the lass." As I recall you had a special day, the Eve of today, last night, eh? Happy, Happy to your both. Did you snowshoe as the temp dropped as you did last year, as I recall?
Glad you enjoyed the squibettes.
JPS