Wannaskan Almanac

It is the last day of July. Today is the 212th day of 2018. Your weird word is weirdward. That's right. It is almost a tongue twister. Speaking of tongue twisters, research says that the following is the toughest tongue twister in the world. I wouldn't try it...not without a tongue doctor present. Which, of course, brings us to tongue depressors. I have to admit, my tongue always gets a little sad whenever it comes into contact with one. Seriously though, I don't think that those little wooden devices are sanitary. Myself, I always grab about twenty or thirty of them whenever I go to the doctor. I use them for making popsicle stick art. I wouldn't take them if the doctor was a little more quick about checking in on me. You can take five tongue depressors and make one of these. These little projects are held together with force. You can sit them above the door and when it opens it will fall down and fly apart. Doctors don't seem to find this amusin...

Haiku. At first glance, this poetic form looks simple enough that any child could work within its rules. On closer inspection, however, not so easy after all. Let’s start with the requirement that a haiku must be a three-ling poem, with each line having respectively 5/7/5 sound bites, i.e., syllables, totaling 17. This rule is rarely broken; if it is, traditionally, the poem isn’t a haiku. To the contrary, modern Japanese haiku sometimes isn’t confined to the 17-syllable form including nature as part of the poem is not required.  Haiku employ no metaphors or similes; thus, they are straightforward. Images of nature and the seasons are very common, and the haiku frequently emphasizes simplicity, intensity, and directness of expression. With all that said, perhaps the haiku form may be more difficult. Here are three I offer for your consideration. #1 Follow paper rules, ends unknown, shredded windblown feathers without birds #2 Determined striving Blu...

We don't remember our past lives because they've all been smooshed into a rolling aggregate, the leading edge of which we are just now.                                                                                Chairman Joe

Good morning and welcome to another edition of the Wanaskan Almanac. Today is Saturday, July 28th, aka, the LAST Saturday in July. We've made it through  Week 9 of Summer Vacation at our house. Just when I thought there couldn't possibly be anymore adventures to be had for the summer, well, we had a few more! This week a dear friend from my college days came up for a spur-of-the-moment visit. It's been awhile since we've had out-of-town guests, so the first order of business was to clear out the clutter and extra clothes from the guest bedroom/my office because that's what guests are really for. Not for the company and companionship, but the cattle prod in the tush to clean up those otherwise neglected areas of one's home. (Tells you how much I've been using my home office this summer.) She arrived on Tuesday, which was also the BIG DAY in our little hockey town by the big lake. TJ Oshie brought the Stanley Cup to Warroad!  (Note: My favorite line in ...

     Welcome to the Wannaskan Almanac for Friday.       It's the birthday in 1899 of Perc Hornibrook, Australian cricket left-arm bowler. Other than Mrs. Hornibrook, who cares, right? Well how about this: on this day in 1974, Kanhai & Jameson add 465 for 2nd wicket, Warwickshire v Gloucs. That is also a cricket related event. I have no idea what it means. Cricket has always been a closed book to me. I enjoyed the book, Tom Brown's School Days as a youth, but had to skip the chapters describing the supposedly exciting cricket matches.     I tried reading the Wikipedia entry on cricket, which assumes basic familiarity with the game. Next I tried "Cricket for Americans" in which the author "takes a stab" at enlightening my darkness.  So cricket is played on a big oval field. In the center is the long, skinny "pitch" where most of the action takes place. The bowler whips the hard leather ball at the batter's wicket. The wicket consists...

I thought today was Wednesday, sorry. I lost track thinking I had one more day to write this piece when my wife corrected my thinking, as she is known to have to do on occasion by pointing out my error, to which I responded, “I love retirement.” Well, it’s true. One can lose knowing which day is which because of the loss of structure a full-time job created for you, a routine that often prevented you going to work on a day you commonly had off, or otherwise encouraged you to show up for work as was expected of you. You remembered the days of the week and as you were “living for the weekend,” you looked forward to it. Retirement means realizing that when someone tells you to “Have a nice weekend,” you say to yourself, “It’s Friday ?” Hooyah. Sure, losing track of days could be an indicator of old age. I am into my late sixties, afterall, and it wouldn’t be unusual for someone possessing the high water marks that I do, not to remember certain things. But I’ve long been amazed, if j...

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac for Word-Wednesday, July 25, 2018, brought to you by  the diligent public servant at the Roseau DVS Office , 107 2nd Ave NW, Roseau, MN 56751, (218) 463-1816, doors open at 9:00am; "When it comes to licensing and registration, we know it all!" Don't forget to register your boat(s). July 25 is the 206th day of the year, with 159 days remaining until the end of the year, and 254 days remaining until April Fools Day. Days without Wannaska Almanac contributing author loss of life due to boating accident in an unregistered boat: 26,054 Earth/Moon Almanac for July 25, 2018 Sunrise: 5:48am; Sunset: 9:12pm Moonrise: 7:49pm; Moonset: 3:51am, waxing gibbous Temperature Almanac for July 25, 2018            Average      Record      Today High       79               ...

July 24. It came up in a hurry, didn't it? As a teacher I start to get a little nervous about this time of year. Will I be able to get up on time next month? Will Frosted Flakes still taste good 5 hours earlier? Deep breath...calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean...oh no...tidal wave! July 24 Historical Happenings: 1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, is imprisoned and forced to abdicate her throne to her 1-year-old son James VI. While Mary was kind of a conniver, the one-year old James was known more for his pacifier abilities. Births include Alexandre Dumas (The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo) and Robert Graves (Goodbye to All That). July 24 is unofficially Cousins Day. If you have any unofficial cousins you should try to call them. Whatever you say should be off the record, of course. Your word for the day is vedro. You may want to learn it if you are planning a trip to Moscow. I think I will attempt some prose. Sunrise Dew glistening Wet grass Warming ...

Please see last week’s post for an introduction and background for this poem. New explorations follow this second part of the poem. Raven Song Part 2                Year by year along comes February when Ravens build their nests to beat the crowd                                     They build them in high and piney places in this Forest                                     They talk among themselves and sing their songs                     ...

Civilization and the Forces of Darkness live in the same neighborhood. The Forces have agreed in principle to gentrification, but progress could hardly be slower.                                                                                       Chairman Joe

Welcome to the Wannaskan Almanac! Today is Saturday, July 21st. With the older three kids all away at camp, for Week 8 of Summer Vacation we decided to take the little ones to Montana for some hiking in the mountains. The last time we went to Montana was August 2009 when the older kids were 7, 5, and 3 years old. My husband and I believe it's good to get kids hiking mountains at an early age. In the name of "fairness," it made sense to head west again so Kid Crew #2 could enjoy the same childhood benefits. Montana 2009, Kid Crew #1 Sunday we drove across North Dakota, making it past Medora just before sunset. I found Camel Hump Campground on Google Maps and followed the GPS faithfully to our destination. The campground, according to Google, was supposed to look like this: What we reached was a stretch of dirt road that ended with a cattle corral, a locked gate and a fence. Our "Camel Hump" campground. We pitched our tent anyway a...