Wannaskan Almanac

  College is denigrated for teaching all of the branches of knowledge, but none of the roots. That’s because we uncover the roots on the job.  Is it better to go slowly to hell or to arrive abruptly? Slowly please. I need some time to look my best.  The philosopher says we must accept the world as it is. His cleaning lady wisely does his house when he’s at the office.  If a bee or a spider gets in the house, I’ll catch it and set it free outside. I’d do the same for flies and mosquitos if they would only come one or two per week.  Because it’s a valid excuse to take the day off, the lazybones enjoys being sick.  Don’t feel bad if you’re baffled by your phone. Even two tin cans and a string can be done wrong and you figured that out.  The world is illogical and not entertaining, except for the fictions it contains, which must be    illogical if they are to be entertaining.  With the advancing years I imagine the books of my library flying...

Hello and welcome to a mid-June Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is June 18th. As the WAKWIR* alluded to in last week's blog post , we had an unexpected adventure a week ago involving a kitten. Here's the story as told by the Fourth Soon-to-be Fifth Grader (with help from mom). So, we were biking from swimming lessons and we were on the homestretch by the St. Mary's Cemetery. I heard a strange little meow. We checked by the cemetery because I saw a white thingy, but it was just foam. Then I heard it again and I followed its meowing until I came to one spot and I almost stepped on the kitten. She was a calico with white fur and patches of orange and white stripes and brown and black stripes. I told my mom that I found her. It jumped and scurried off through the tall grass away from us and toward the road. We followed her and fed her Lunchables pepperoni. We biked home, got the cat carrier and tuna, and we rode in a car back to the cemetery. We listened for the m...

      The Battle of Bunker Hill took place on this day in 1775. I was born just a mile away from the battlefield and so take a proprietary interest in this first real battle of the Revolutionary War.     Tension had been building in the Colonies for the ten years previous to the battle. After the French and Indian War, Britain imposed taxes on the American colonies to help pay off war debts. The Americans saw no point in paying for defense now that the French were out of the picture.    Britain sent troops to the Colonies to enforce her will, which led to the Boston Massacre in 1770 and the Tea Party in '73. Britain really tightened the screws after the Tea Party, and in response the Americans began forming well regulated militias and stockpiling weapons. It was a British expedition in April, 1775 to confiscate some of those weapons that ignited the powder keg of war.    By June the British has several warships and thousands of soldiers ...

   The other night, my wife and I watched a good portion of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee marking 70 years of service to the people of the United Kingdom, the Realms and the Commonwealth. I looked at the ten of thousands of energetic faces and the crowds briskly waving the Union Jack, and people swaying and jumping, dancing, drinking beer, and singing along to many of the songs. There were individuals of every stripe, color, and persuasion ... and I wondered, “Where are the toilets?”    Every single person, young and old, curly, straight-haired, and shaved looked sincere in their revery. They appeared excited beyond reason, happy, exuberant, bubbly, estatic, expectant, overjoyed and a million other synonyms.    I was as entertained by the performance of the audience as I was by many of the fantastic old musicians who, in their ancient old bodies and skinny-legged pants delivered their best performance in many a year aided by quite possibly, their liberal use...

Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of new words... the trill of frippary... and the apogee of offbeat... the human drama of semantic explication...here is the Wannaskan Almanac with Word-Wednesday, June 15, 2022, the twenty-fourth Wednesday of the year, the twelfth and last Wednesday of spring, and the 166th day of the year, with 199 days remaining. Wannaska Phenology Update for June 15, 2022 Blueberry Forecast Up until yesterday's intense thunderstorm, this year's blueberry crop was looking exceptional. Unfortunately, the wind and driving rain knocked off many of the blueberry flowers. June 15 Fickle Pickle Menu Special : Potato Dumpling June 15 Nordhem Lunch : Updated daily by 11:00am, usually. idemx rilgl Earth/Moon Almanac for June 15, 2022 Sunrise: 5:21am; Sunset: 9:29pm; 29 seconds more daylight today Moonrise: 11:31pm; Moonset: 6:01am, waning gibbous, 99% illuminated. Temperature Almanac for June 15, 2022           ...

I did a search on Youtube for the world's funniest joke.  The first thing came up was an advertisement for the Wall Street Journal.  It was kind of funny, I guess, but not really what I was looking for.  It encouraged me to get great rates by subscribing now, which if you know me is funny...but not really a gut buster.   Not really my cup of tea After the advertisement came this long description of what makes a joke funny, followed by what was claimed to be the funniest joke ever.  It was okay, but I think I can find a funnier one.  See what you think here. To see if I could find some very funny jokes, I turned to Reader's Digest.  There are stacks of them around my Mother-in-law's house, but it was easier just to look them up online.  Here are some of my favorites: 1.  A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?” “Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a pengu...

A Woman of Many Worlds and One Last week, this post began a series featuring representatives of Womankind and their poetry. As I said last week, the tally reveals that since Wannaskan Almanac began, out of roughly 208 posts (not counting 2022) less than ten women were presented, excluding the poems offered by yours truly. Imagination! I have begun and will continue to make amends for ignoring my own gender. Maya Angelou was an American poet, memoirist, and civil rights activist. She published seven autobiographies, three books of essays, several books of poetry, and is credited with a list of plays, movies, and television shows spanning over 50 years. She received dozens of awards and more than 50 honorary degrees. She was born in St. Louis, Missouri in April 1928; she died on 28 May 2014 in Winston-Salem North Carolina. Her many accomplishments range from being the first Black female streetcar conductor to being only the second poet to recite at a presidential inauguration. She wrote...