Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 37

Man's Garden Vandalized

Joe McDonnell, 79 and a resident of Palmville Township, Minnesota, recently had his garden fence breached by a large deer. "If we didn't have a tall sturdy fence, there would be no point in having a garden," McDonnell tells the press. "When our dog was young, the deer stayed away, but when our dog lost interest in chasing the deer, we had to put up a six foot tall fence which was effective at keeping the deer away from our vegetables. But when I went to the garden recently I found the garden gate open. Now that it's late in the season, we've gotten careless about latching the gate. I noticed deer prints in the damp soil. Then I noticed big bulges in two places in the fence as though the deer had rammed its head into the fence. I surmised the deer had eventually gone out the way it had come in until I noticed the post where the two ends of the fence come together. The deer had found the weak spot in the fence and butted its way out." In a later communication, McDonnell says they will take the fence loose from the posts and retighten it. "When we have time," he says.

Man Avoids Gravy Flood

Joe McDonnell, 79 and an amateur caterer, recently stood next to a man who spilled a large container of hot gravy on himself. "Every September I work with another parishioner making gravy for the meatballs served at the church turkey dinner. It's a big fundraiser for the church. There are several large pots of hot water on the industrial basement stove and our job is to dip out a gallon of this water, mix it with gravy concentrate, then return it to the pot. Once the pot boils the mix thickens into gravy. My job is to whisk the concentrate into the smaller bowl. My coworker’s job is to then pour the bowl into the big pot but he decided to give the concentrate a last stir. As he set the whisk back on the counter, it started to roll away. As he reached for the whisk, he poured the bowl of concentrate onto himself. I felt bad for him, but was happy he had missed me. My coworker had been in the military for twenty years and we quickly had the spill cleaned up and the gravy was made in a timely manner. In a follow-up email, McDonnell says his coworker told him the gravy washed right out of his clothes. "I discovered a couple of small gravy stains on my pants cuff and they too came out in the wash,” McDonnell says. 

Squib Cellar

If the love of guns was one of the three types of love in the Bible, it would be closer to the erotic than the divine. 

A man, upset that he and his wife constantly bickered, was advised that the next time his wife chewed on him, he should not respond. 

“Just don’t dance,” he was told. 

His wife eventually found another partner. 

Don't be a Bible thumper

Don't beat beatitudes

Just read the ancient scriptures

With gentle gratitude 

Real conversation takes two good listeners and at least one good talker. 

We get rid of the delusion that the ego is an independent self, then take up the even sillier delusion that the soul too is independent.

It takes a village to badly raise a mass murderer. 

AI’s tendency to hallucinate is the most human thing about it.