Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 29

Man Avoids Embarrassing Revelation 

Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently covered up a potentially embarrassing faux pas. "I was invited to a tea party last week and was already embarrassed because I was late. The other guests were sipping their tea and eating the dessert and they had to squeeze together to make room for me. The dessert was a very soft and foamy pink cake which I ate quickly because I had missed my lunch. The dessert was delicious and I hoped I'd be offered another piece. As the hostess refilled the teacups, she knocked a guest's cup over. The guests mopped up the spill with their napkins but tea was leaking through the crack where the table leaf goes in. I grabbed several paper towels and dove under the table to wipe up the spill. It was then I discovered that I had dropped a piece of my dessert on the floor. I was able to wipe it up with the tea and discard the clump of paper towels in the trash. "In a later communication, McDonnell says the hostess took him aside as he was leaving and thanked him for cleaning up the spilled tea under the table. He says he said to her, "Delighted to have been of service." He then asked for the dessert recipe which she emailed later.

Man Unable to Hear His Furnace

Joe McDonnell, 79 and dealing with hearing loss, was recently unable to tell if his furnace fan was working. "We got a new furnace this spring,," McDonnell tells reporters, "and I was happy that it made less noise when running than the old furnace. On hot days in summer we use the 'fan only' feature to blow cool air from the basement into the house. But the first time we turned on the fan it didn't seem to be running, even when I listened at the basement door. I was about to call our HVAC man when my wife said cool air was coming out of the vents proving the fan was indeed running. I saw the furnace man later and he said the new generation for furnace fans are super quiet." In a follow up email McDonnell reports that one downside of the new fan is that they have to remember to turn it off when they leave home for the day. "We don't want our new furnace wearing out any sooner than necessary," he says.

Squib Cellar 

The ideal aging parent will downsize to a pre-paid burial plan and a carry-on suitcase containing a million dollars in twenties. 

How can we describe the world?

I used to be one of the six blind men describing one part of the elephant by feel. 

Now I’m one of the ten trillion bacteria describing God just by being. 

Attractive people can find a spouse by walking down the street. The rest of us must hang around pews or cubicles or internet sites.

The rich view the poor either as potential customers to grow their wealth, or as a spreading virus coming to gobble up the billion or two they’ve set aside for a rainy day. 

Psychology is both

An art and science

Conmen have found they need

No stinking' license

Jesus says his yoke is easy. 

Then he contradicts himself by telling us to love our neighbor. 

The real kicker is when he says, “Judge not.”