Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 2 Number 31

Man Gets Lesson in Octane Ratings

Joe McDonnell, 79 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, was recently educated on the proper gasoline to use in his brush cutter. "No one ever told me when I bought the machine that I was supposed to use high octane gas," McDonnell tells the press. "I had once heard that using a gas with too high an octane rating could damage the engine, so I used a medium octane fuel and the engine ran fine for several years until recently when it wouldn't start. I brought the brush cutter to the place I bought it and the no-start problem turned out to be unrelated to the fuel I had been using. The mechanic had heard that I had been using a lower octane fuel and when I picked up the brush cutter he gave me a tutorial on starting the brush cutter and pointed out the nearest station that sold high octane gas." In a later communication, McDonnell says he wishes he had been given the tutorial at the time he bought his machine, but the mechanic he dealt with hadn't been on staff back then.

Man Begins Outlet Replacement Project

Joe McDonnell, 79 and an ardent do-it yourselfer, recently removed an electrical outlet that has a built in reset button. "The button functions as a mini-circuit breaker and it has been popping out frequently for no reason," McDonnell tells reporters. "The outlet is in the guest bedroom and a guest will often text me to say the light in his or her room does not work. The fix is a simple matter of pushing the button on the outlet back in. But this problem always happens when it's dark and I can't expect my guest to find the button, so I'll go to the bedroom with a flashlight and push the button back in. I have purchased a replacement outlet and will be replacing the outlet before the next guest arrives." In a follow-up email, McDonnell says he learned from the internet that these special outlets with buttons go bad every few years and need to be replaced.  "These outlets are more expensive, but it's better to replace them than have a guest receive a bad shock."

Squib Cellar

Like our daily horoscope, AI is good at telling us what we want to hear.

I was lazy when young 

A bit of a sap

Now I work hard

But need frequent naps 

Only 0.0035% of the entire spectrum is visible to our eyes. Perhaps God reveals a similar percentage of himself in Jesus. 

The absent-minded person lives in his head rather than in reality. His interior  stream of consciousness is ever changing, while reality is pretty much leaves on, followed by leaves off…leaves on…leaves off…

The ego must be trained not to put our selfish desires ahead of the needs of others. 

It also needs to stop telling us we’re no good. 

When Jesus died, the temple curtain was torn, giving us a view of Heaven. 

We’ve been sewing up the curtain ever since. 

Shakespeare and I speak the same language but if I ever swapped one of my sonnets for one of his, the poetry police would be all over me like fleas on Dogberry.