The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 44
Man Makes Clean Sweep
Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently cleaned up an eyesore in town. "My wife and I like to walk on the trails in town," McDonnell tells the press. "As the leaves disappear in the Fall, the trash in the bushes becomes visible, so we bring a plastic grocery bag with us and pick up paper, plastic, and aluminum. Recently we noticed the trash in the row of tall bushes between the nursing home and the golf course was particularly junky and on our next walk brought our grabber stick to reach objects deep in the bushes. We quickly filled our bag. Fortunately some of the trash was old grocery bags and we soon gathered six bagfuls." McDonnell reports that a friend coming up behind them thought they were homeless people. "We immediately placed our bags by the curb and came back with our car and picked up our bags for proper disposal," he says.
Man Caught Scraperless
Joe McDonnell, 78 and a former Boy Scout, was recently caught in an ice storm without his windshield scraper. "I always like to be prepared," McDonnell tells reporters, "so around this time of year I put combination snow brush/ice scrapers in our vehicles. We got our first snow this week. It was a light, wet snowfall. I was running errands in town and when I returned to my car, the windshield was caked in ice. Though I had placed a brand new brush/scraper in my wife's car, I had forgotten to get one for myself. Someone once called my car's trunk an Aladdin's Cave of emergency gear. My trunk is long and deep and after rummaging about I saw the tip of an ice scraper in the far forward area. There was no brush attached, but I didn’t need one for that job." In a follow up email, McDonnell says he had forgotten to start his car and turn his defrost on full blast before starting his search in the trunk to start the windshield melting process. "That's what a native born Minnesotan would have done," he writes.
Squib Cellar
Humans can build a civilization but other animals can not. This is a quantitative and not a qualitative difference.
Step one in multitasking
-Determine which tasks can sit on the back burner indefinitely while you complete the fussier ones.
Knowledge is a light in the dark: as I fumble in my predawn closet, I know that shirt is in there.
A good diet and exercise will not prevent death, but they give the illusion of eternal life which is almost as good.
Haste makes waste.
For a senior, it also makes a broken leg.
Comments by trolls have declined in quality since they stated outsourcing their work to AI.
So to leave the world better than you found it tote extra bags, a grabber and, how about a pair of gloves?!
ReplyDeleteThese two could write the book about it, although I doubt that Joe put his hand up first to clean roadsides not his own. I've seen the pair of them cleaning them up to two miles west of where they live, not including the north-south Highway 89 Adopt-A-Highway stretch, south of Wannaska that bears their name. One time, Joe cleaned up appliance debris, directly east of their home, that had fallen from a former-Wannaska friend's trailer after dark one evening. Before they returned to the scene the next morning, Joe had the appliances, and the trailer, lined up on the edge of the field awaiting them. Sadly, someone else passing by saw the ratchet-straps loose on top, and stole them. The buggers.
DeleteWannaskWriter also helped with the appliances in the ditch mess.
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