The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 30
Man Gets Scare at Beauty Shop
Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, thought his beautician was putting down her scissors for good. “It’s taken me years to find a beautician who makes me look good and who also appears to be interested in my blather,” McDonnell tells the press. “A few months ago my beautician won a large amount of money at the casino and I was worried she wouldn’t need to work anymore. It’s been six months now and she’s still at work. When I hinted about her big win she said she used her winnings to take a trip with her husband, throw a party for her friends, and then divided the rest between her kids and Uncle Sam.”
Man Gets New Spider Tool
Joe McDonnell, 78 and a fan of spiders, recently removed the card that said “Please lift handle after flushing”, from the top of the toilet after the installation of a new toilet. “The card was redundant,” McDonnell tells reporters, "but I was able to recycle it as part of my spider removal kit. I am often called in the middle of the night to remove a spider in the vicinity of the toilet. I put a cup over the spider and slip my new card, a 4” by 6” index card, under the spider. The stiff index card works better than the flimsy magazine renewal cards I used to use and which often allowed the spider to escape.” According to McDonnell, the spiders are always released outdoors. “Spiders aren’t a problem in the winter because they hibernate,” he adds.
Squib Cellar
Youth is for sins of the flesh
Age- for sins of the spirit
Prime example of quality vs quantity: The female egg is the largest cell in the body while the male sperm cell is the smallest.
One egg is available per month while millions and millions of sperm are ready daily to be of service.
Faded celebs go to the Hall of Cameos for a period before their final resting place in the land of “Whatever Happened To?”
Just between you and me
Soon becomes
Between you and three
I'm grateful to the voter who believes little boys go to school in the morning as boys and come home as girls for forcing me to confront my own irrational beliefs.
When we make contact with alien civilizations, interplanetary dating services will quickly pop up. I predict it will be mostly one date and done.
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