Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 26

Man Almost Misses the Point

Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently came close to missing the point of his trip to a town sixty miles away. “My wife asked me to pick up a print job for her in a nearby town,” McDonnell tells the press. “I rounded up a couple of friends who enjoy going to a favorite breakfast place in that town. As we were headed home I noticed a print shop on the edge of town. It reminded me what the point of my trip was. My wife’s print job was in a different shop across town.” After picking up the print job, McDonnell noticed a long train sitting across the road out of town. McDonnell and his passengers had to go back into town and leave town on a different road. McDonnell reports that trains in this town can sit blocking the road for half an hour. "We once missed the first period of hockey game because of a train at that location," he says.

Man Discovers What He Likes

Joe McDonnell, 78 and willing to admit when he's wrong, recently stopped turning his nose up at Quick Oats. "Whenever I went to the cafe and ordered oatmeal, I wondered how they made it taste so good.,” McDonnell tells reporters. “When I made oatmeal at home it was never as good as at the cafe. I tried different proportions of water to oats. I tried cooking the oatmeal the night before and reheating it the next morning. Finally one morning I ran out of the Old Fashioned oats that I always presumed were better. So I cooked a pot of the Quick Oats we keep on hand as a meatloaf extender. Well, the Quick Oats tasted just like the oatmeal at the cafe." McDonnell realizes he should have simply asked the cook at the cafe what kind of oatmeal he used all those years ago. "It makes sense he'd use the one minute variety," McDonnell says. "He's a short order cook."

Squib Cellar

The sage says this world is delusion, so you may as well pick a good one. 

E.g. I am the greatest!

What’s easier- planting the seed or harvesting the crop?

That’s a no-brainer. 

I’ll see you next spring. 

My demons have been cast out, but there's still a smell of burn about me.

In meditation we are like the rising lump of dough preparing ourselves for the baking.

Fifty-fifty? Those are chancy birth odds for insuring that our gender will match our personality. 

For the lazy person, every day is the Sabbath. 

If you come up with an original idea, people will generally assume you stole it from your betters.