The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 15
Man Appropriates Ethnic Holiday
Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently attended a new awning party. “This is the second time our friends invited us over to enjoy their new patio awnings,” McDonnell tells the press. “The awnings have electric motors that extend long metal rods that mimic praying mantis legs. These jointed leg-arms bob up and down in the breeze. They’re nice. If the wind gets too strong the awnings automatically retract. The first day our friends invited us was a very windy day so the party was postponed till May 5, which happened to be Cinco de Mayo. We brought quesadillas which in Spanish means ‘little cheesy things’. Our hostess was busy making margaritas during the evening, which involved chopping lots of ice in a blender, so a discussion of the historical significance of Cinco de Mayo went by the wayside."
Man Installs Stoop
Joe McDonnell, 78 and an amateur builder, recently installed a stoop at his cabin project. "A stoop is really a miniature porch," McDonnell tells reporters. "What I installed is more of a doorstep. The doorstep is a concrete block 16" long, 13" wide and 7" inches high. Without the stoop it was a one foot step into the cabin which currently has no door. A one foot step is not bad unless you're carrying a heavy, awkward item such as a miter saw into or out of the cabin. Dividing that one foot into two steps of seven and five inches was a good idea. Once the door and threshold are installed, the doorstep will be removed and will be replaced by a proper stoop, which will eventually be replaced by a small porch.
Squib Cellar
The odds in Las Vegas against Robert Prevost becoming pope were ten thousand to one.
Pious gamblers made a bundle.
Thinking that time is real is like living on an enchanted merry-go-round.
-If time is an illusion, the universe must be too.
-That’s right.
-Am I an illusion?
-You tell me.
As I breath in I think of my first breath
As a brand new bay-bee
As I breathe out I think of my last breath
Which this one might possibly be
The sins we commit are there in plain sight. Sins of omission are hard to pin down, otherwise we’d confess them then do what's needed.
If my inbox contains more than 20 unread emails, I know I’m working too hard.
How far above high self-esteem does arrogance begin?
I have a door frame and door, I'll give you. I won it in a drawing at a lumberyard in Roseau, like 5 years ago; you were with me. Let me know, otherwise I'll recover it with a tarp for the next 5 years. Its hinged on the right side, opening in ... The door is steel with large square window.
ReplyDeleteStephen Hawking will approve of your time squib.
ReplyDeleteA stoop, is it now? Makes me think of the Bronx in summer. I think you should keep and expand it. But then there is a porch to consider . . .
Isn’t arrogance the false step into the stoop-ity of life?
ReplyDelete