The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 13
Man Has Wish Fulfilled
Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, recently had his wishful thinking rewarded. “On Sunday we drove two hours south to an Easter brunch," McDonnell tells the press. "I am an all-day nosher by nature and having to cram myself to justify the price of admission at a brunch is painful. But to keep the peace I didn’t grumble. I knew the venue had one spot with a view of the lake. I said we’d never get that spot, but someone said ‘If you don’t wish, you don’t get.’ When the hostess led us to the lakeview table, my day brightened. Plus, one member of our group picked up the tab. Win-win.”
Man Worries About Nothing
Joe McDonnell, 78 and a do-gooder, recently put the batteries in a friend's golf cart for the summer. "I had never put batteries in a golf cart before," McDonnell tells reporters, "so I consulted a cart owner who is also an electrician. He said the batteries should be hooked up in series, which meant nothing to me. I knew from experience that installing car batteries incorrectly can lead to sparks and explosions so I was a little worried. When I got to my friend's place there was only one battery. Strange. Then I noticed his cart was one of the 44% that uses a gas engine. Whew. Once the job was done, he took me for a spin down the city walking trail and past a sign that said No Motor Vehicles. 'I can't read,' he smirked. And this guy's a retired pastor!"
Squib Cellar
We hear about people swept away in a flood and we feel bad for them, but we don’t give up on the world. The present damp weather will dry up too.
Sunny days will return, though we shall be altered.
If someone doesn’t reply quickly to my carefully composed email, I take that as a compliment. They’re gobsmacked by my brilliance. Then I read their obit which says their one regret was never answering my email.
When grilling I have a hot side and a cool side. In hell the entire grate is covered with live coals.
The opposite of love is suffering, not hate.
It’s hard for an outsider to ever be considered a local in a small town, though staying around until their hair turns white will buy a little credibility.
As the Jews grew big brains to survive their troubles, so the Irish sharpened their wit.
For some strange reason, I read this whole post with the sound of an Irish brogue running in the background. That made more sense when I got to your final squib about Irish wit. I think, your first squib would be a great intro to a piece of fiction. We are both eager to hear about what you got to eat at the brunch and who paid!
ReplyDeleteMy fav of the day - The opposite of love is suffering, not hate. / Karon and I are reading "Lovingkindness" by Sharon Salsburg, and your squib mirrors her Buddhist thinking.
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