Days of Our Lives

Hello and welcome to a post-Sweetheart Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is February 15th.

Believe it or not, folks, there's an Episode 5 to Sick: Season 1, the reality blog post that just keeps on giving. Who - you might be wondering - who could possibly be the afflicted one this week? Here's a clue: You know how in Days Of Lives Stefano is behind the bad-guy plot, and the audience can see it a mile away but Marlena is unsuspecting and genuinely surprised all the way up to the moment she gets abducted even though John Black/Roman Brady warns her repeatedly? Well, I'm Marlena, and the bad guy this week is gastroenteritis.

It's hard to know who the culprit was. It could have been the cold, very crappy coffee with Bailey's. Or the few bites of the rich Italian cream cake. Or the few bites of chicken nachos - all of which I consumed (in that order) at book club on Monday night. In the nearly 19 years of book club, I have had one similar incident when we did a progressive book club party where we traveled to each others' homes for each course of a meal. Let's just say it all went well until I learned the hard way that white wine + red wine + plus multiple courses of gorgeous foods finished off with pineapple coconut cheesecake does not make a good combination. 

Or, since no one else got sick (this time or the last aforementioned book club time), maybe it was just a bug.

Whatever the case, duty called, and I did my requisite kneeling, bowing, and other acts of honor and appreciation to the porcelain throne. While I rested, my husband stood in the doorway of our bedroom with his questions, "And what exactly did you eat today? And at what time? And how much?" All that was missing was a pen, clipboard, and his reading glasses as he mercilessly quizzed me while I writhed in restless agony.

I was too tired to ponder, "Why me?" Instead, I spent the week maxi-convalescing in between my work and responsibilities. 

Thank goodness my husband has other superpowers aside from inquisitiveness and analysis, including providing dinner (And if you're a regular reader of the blog, you guessed correctly: meat, onion, and bread, only this week, he had a hankering for liver so threw some of that into the mix. A first for all of us. Or rather, them. I abstained from all of it.), and managing the nighttime routine with kids.

I'm looking for the silver lining in this as practice for next week's prep for my first-ever colonoscopy and then the annual Ash Wednesday fast in two weeks. 

And I've learned that a person can feel quite good subsisting on bananas, saltless saltines, and clear fluids.

I'm also grateful that everyone else held all of their own health and habits together so I only had to deal with me being sick, because, when mom's sick, she's not just sick. She's out of commission. 

College Kid 3.0 called me Thursday morning at 7:14am to say that he'd gotten his root canal and it had been the spa-like experience I'd hoped for him. He even said the words, I serendipitously (and unbeknownst to him) had typed in last week's blog post: "I just laid back in the chair and said Ahhhhhhh."

This morning the Fourth Grader announced both his nose holes were completely stuffed.

I'm just going to ignore that comment and let him play Mincecraft all day because the Sick show is, not only getting old, it's getting miserably predictable like the daytime soaps.