Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, April 16, 2024 It's That Day Again!

It has been a while, so I thought I would mock...I mean highlight...I mean, well, you will just have to see...all those observances that fall on April 16.  

2024 Daily Holidays that fall on April 16, include:

Day of the Mushroom.  As long time historian and mushroom expert Chairman Joe will tell you, there are many varieties of mushrooms that can give you all kinds of interesting experiences found in the Wannaskan wilderness.  Whether you are looking for violent diarrhea or a trip through a magical colored fantasy world, Wannaska mushrooms are there for your enjoyment.  Celebrate by making a mushrooms and Guinness brew on April 16 this year!

Welcome to the Jungle...Wannaska Style!

Foursquare Day.  Who knew that they had a holiday to celebrate one of our greatest presidents?  As Abraham Lincoln said...Foursquare and seven beers ago, our forefathers...and a bunch of other stuff.  By the time he got to that part everyone was engaged in foursquare and drinking and weren't really interested in listening to the rest of the speech.  

National Bean Counter Day.  Is your counter covered with beans?  If so then you have likely decorated your counter for National Bean Counter Day.  This tradition dates back figuratively to the 1960's.  Not really allowed to talk about it though.  That would be literally spilling the beans!

National Eggs Benedict Day. Can you trust your eggs?  Or have they turned on you?  Either way, celebrate National Eggs Benedict Day with a tasty breakfast!  Might I suggest waffles?

A traitor's breakfast

Note:  Despite its name, there is no evidence that eggs benedict are named after Benedict Arnold. There are many anecdotes about its origins, but nothing is official. Some say it is a traitorous dish as it is usually made with English muffins and Canadian bacon.  England and Canada are both enemies with America, thanks mostly to Justin Bieber and those hard to understand sketches from Monty Python.

National Librarian Day.  Is there anything sexier than a librarian?  The answer, of course, is yes.  I could go further, but I sense the censors reaching for the delete button.

National Orchid Day.  On this day we celebrate the killer whale, also known as the orchid.  Orchids are known to frequently leap out of the water, especially during rainbow season. 

Once in a lifetime orchid photo

Save the Elephant Day.  The following may or may not have happened to Cinderellaphant. 

Once upon a time, in a magical forest, there lived an elegant elephant named Ella. Ella had a heart as big as her ears and dreams that soared higher than the tallest trees. One enchanting evening, as the moon painted silver streaks across the sky, Ella stumbled upon a pair of delicate glass slippers. They sparkled like dew-kissed petals, and their magic whispered promises of transformation.

With a twirl of her trunk, Ella slipped her massive feet into the dainty shoes. To her surprise, they fit perfectly! The glass slippers shimmered, lifting her off the ground, and Ella danced among the fireflies.

The forest animals gathered, their eyes wide with wonder. Squirrels chattered excitedly, and wise old owls hooted in approval. Even the moon peeked through the leaves, casting its glow upon Ella's graceful steps.

As Ella waltzed, the glass slippers carried her to a grand ball. The trees bowed, and the stars applauded. Ella, the elephant, was now Ella, the belle of the ball.

Prince Charming, a dashing giraffe with a penchant for poetry, extended his hoof. "May I have this dance?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.

Ella blushed, her enormous ears turning rosy. "Why, of course!" she replied, and they swirled across the mossy floor, their laughter echoing through the forest.  But midnight approached—the bewitching hour. Ella knew her glass slippers held secrets, and she feared they would vanish. She whispered to Prince Charming, "I must go."

He gazed into her soulful eyes. "Will you return?"

Ella nodded, her heart heavy. "When the moon weaves its silver threads again."

And so, Ella left the ball, her glass slippers fading as the clock struck twelve. But the memory lingered—a magical night when an elephant danced with a giraffe, and glass slippers carried her dreams.

Teach Your Daughter to Volunteer Day.  Your daughter will love a chore list to celebrate this special day.  Washing windows, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the neighbors...it is all good on this wonderful holiday.  Take time to just watch TV while your daughter works.  Remember, volunteers don't get paid!

World Semicolon Day.  ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;...make it stop!  

World Voice Day.  Finally, join us at the Almanac world headquarters at precisely 11:07 AM to sing the national anthem of World Voice Day.  

With so much going on who has time to read the almanac!  For a written transcript of today's nonsense send a SASE to Wannaskan Almanac Rejection Dept., PO Box 999 (That's 666 upside down), Wannaska, MN, 56761.  Include a check for $17 and a handwritten affirmation of your waiver to legal rights.  Thanks!