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Showing posts from April, 2024

Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, April 30, 2024 On This Day

Did you know that on this day, April 30, 1952, Mr. Potato Head became the first child focused toy advertised on TV? April 30th is an amazing day because it’s the day we celebrate Honesty Day and Bugs Bunny Day.  honestly, you can pretty much walk around the whole day wearing a big hat, holding a shotgun, and telling everyone that "I'm hunting wabbit." Thanks to the ever changing calendar, today is the last day of April! Today is also the 121st day of the year. 2020 The Queen knighted British Captain Tom Moore on his 100th birthday.  Moore walked around his garden during the coronavirus lockdown and raised over £30 million for the National Health Service.  Not to be outdone Joe Biden has walked around the Whitehouse garden for the past several years.  If only he could find the exit! 2018 A newly discovered water beetle was named after Leonardo DiCaprio.  The new species was found in Borneo. The name was chosen in honor of DiCaprio’s environmental activism, and because the

The One - A Reintroduction

From January 7, 2019... And now for something completely different . . . as is often announced on  The Monty Python Show , a comedy series hailing from England. In contrast, today begins an epic poem that is not on the humorous side, but neither does it carry undue darkness. I have been working on this epic poem, intermittently, for over twenty years. Long gaps intersperse periods of serious effort attending to this work that is approaching 200 pages. Yes, we’re in this for the long haul. The presentation of this story bares a minimal resemblance to  Wannaska World  (a sister narrative effort of Wannaskan Almanac’s writers in mid-2018) in that both  Wannaska World  and  The One  are written in serialized form, and both are stories. But that’s where the resemblance ends.  Epics have been written around the globe for thousands of years. Perhaps the oldest is  The Epic of Gilgamesh , from Sumeria (modern-day Iraq), written some time prior to 2000 BCE. From neighboring Iran, written in the

Sunday Squibs

  Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I think I’ll do this piece of cake unto myself, reserving half for the others. If you get too good at keeping your fire going through the night, you’ll grow rusty at starting it anew in the morning. Sincerity’s a syrup Boiled from watery sap Keep the heart fire burning Let the world your sweetness    lap  We are each other’s lifeboat We do not live alone  Made of love- whatever floats  Let mine not be stone Half the fun of travel is in the anticipation.  The other half is showing your pics to your victims.  Racism is the shame of the human race Is  portmanteau  itself a portmanteau word? How about  suitcase ?  Funeral : When people you've never met  gather and tell stories you've never heard  about a person you thought you knew. People visit us for my wife's beauty They stay for my idiot's savantry I feel uneasy seeing a safe in my motel room.  Is the reception clerk also a bail bondsman?  Could the complimentary brea

Couch Baby

Hello and welcome to an April-showers-please-bring-May-flowers Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is April 27th. I'm thrilled to introduce the newest member of our family:  Bayment .  With four dark walnut legs, he stands 34" tall, is 77" long and 35.5" deep, "Bay" - as he's already affectionately called - is the the most adorable shade of khaki. Not too dark, nor too light, Bay is the perfect brown for our living room. After weeks of toiling over style and color selection with my trusted couch doctor Annika from The Furniture Gallery,  I cannot overstate my absolute joy.  Bay comes with not two, but four accent pillows - one set in a coordinating khaki print and the other set in "poppy" red - that look adorable nestled in his arms. The pillows are plump, happy additions that fit our little furniture family seamlessly. Our new bundle of joy also comes with a memory foam mattress creating new spaces for friends and family to rest the

Relapse

     People often say "I need a vacation from my vacation," especially if their vacation has involved long periods of travel. Why not just stay home like we did during Covid, but without the masks? We couldn't breathe during Covid. But if we stay home we'll see things that need doing and that's no vacation.   After a vacation I need to rest and recover from the disorienting melancholy that awaits me inside the front door. There's the initial relief that the fridge is still humming and the basement's not full of water. There's always an odd smell, but that dissipates when the furnace is turned up.   There's a big pile of junk mail and magazines. The suitcases sit for a day. Let them. A deep tiredness has invaded me after long days of driving. It seems ridiculous that I should feel so tired in body and brain. We used to put in longer days, but 500 miles is now our limit. That takes 8-10 hours depending on which roads we take and how long our lunch br

April 25, 2024 Murder in Palmville

Just when you thought nothing exciting ever happened in Palmville Township, Roseau County, Minnesota.  

Word-Wednesday for April 24, 2024

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac with Word-Wednesday for April 24, 2024, the seventeenth Wednesday of the year, the sixth Wednesday of spring, the fourth and last Wednesday of April, and the one-hundred fifteenth day of the year, with two-hundred fifty-one days remaining.   Wannaska Phenology Update for April 24, 2024 Porcupines Are Out Porcupines are classified in two families: Old World ( Hystricidae ) from Italy, Asia, and Africa, and New World ( Erethizontidae ) indigenous to North and South America. The word "porcupine" comes from the Latin porcus pig + spina spine, quill, via Italian (Italian "porcospino", thorn-pig)—Middle French—Middle English. A regional American name for the animal is "quill-pig". A baby porcupine is a porcupette. When born, a porcupette's quills are soft hair; they harden with keratin within a few days, forming the sharp quills of adults. April 24, 2024 Hummingbird Migration Update April 24 Fickle Pickle Wednesday Menu Sp

Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, April 23, 2024 Sacrifices to the Sacred Cow

Wow...so many people complained about my far side parodies!  Thank you so much!  It must be apparent now that the Almanac exists to offend.  Due to that, here are more far side parodies.  Enjoy! Just like all parodies, these far side parodies are protected free speech.  Probably not, but it sounded cool to say it.  Have a wonderful day!

The Garden Walk

Two fat robins sip water from the gutters overlooking my open window. Warm air, buds on branches, fresh-cut grass, daffodils—everything about April gets me out the door and into the garden. I've already bought a big, red geranium plant, and I'm keeping it watered. My parsley usually winters over but gave out this winter, so I've replaced that. I've bought more Dahlia tubers; I can't ever have enough dahlias. This year, I'm trying red onions for the first time, and I will also try growing garlic. I like getting my hands into the dirt and getting my hopes up for what will follow. Along those lines, while paging through gardening books the other night, I came across a section on mazes and labyrinths—two classic garden walkways encouraging my tendency to muse. The Smithsonian assures me that mazes have been part of the human experience for thousands of years. Not surprisingly, for ages, only the elite had access to mazes. PBS television shows have made it easy for