Wannaskan Almanac for August 24, 2021 The Subject

A noun is a person, place, or thing.  It is usually what you are talking about in a sentence.  For example in the sentence, "Steve drank an Extra Stout Guinness Beer," the nouns are Steve (the subject) and Beer (the object).  On a particularly rough day, the sentence "Steve drank twelve Extra Stout Guinness Beers," would end up with some incoherent slurring and general lack of caring about parts of speech.

The word noun is thought to have two origins.  It is either from the French no-une, which means no one or nobody.  This would have meant that no one or nobody should write a sentence without a no-une.  That, of course, is ridiculous and cannot be proven.  The other, more accepted origin, is from the Italian noun-er.  A noun-er is when you get together with friends in the middle of the day and engage in relation...ship building by talking through your problems.  I tell you, many people leave a good noun-er with a smile on their face!

Well, that is enough being serious.  Here are some noun jokes.  

Mr. McDonell was teaching his class about abstract nouns.

He explained how abstract nouns refer to something you can think of, but can't touch. He then asked a student sitting at the back of the class for an example.

"My father's Cadillac."

I’ve always loved people, places, and things...that’s why I’ve always been pro-noun.

My English teacher said you can’t make a sentence with only nouns.  Wheel sea.

Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.

Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer

According to some website the most common nouns used in the English language are time, person, and year.  My guess is that they were paid to say this by Time Magazine.  I don't trust the Time Person of the Year issues because they have yet to choose somebody from Wannaska as their Person of the Year.  It boggles my mind!

Hey Time...it's about time!

So now you know everything there is to know about nouns.  You will easily pass that 5th grade grammar test and impress your teachers, parents, and friends...who, by the way, are all nouns!