Today we will embark on one of the most amazing literary trips. No, you will not have to consume some sort of mushroom or smoke some sweet smelling tobacco. You will just be given the chance to show how smart you are with Wannaskan Almanac trivia. I am so excited, so let's get right to it.
For 100 virtual dollars, who was the first President of the Quaker Oats Company? If you guessed John Ritter, you would be correct. John Ritter was part of a presidential trio that ran the company in the 1980's. You might say they were the Three's Company Leaders.
For $200 in virtual cash, when did Napoleon cross the Delaware. The answer is December 25, 1776. George Washington smuggled Napoleon ice-cream across the Delaware to hide it from the British. Later they changed the name using the witness protection program to neopolitan ice cream.
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| Revolutionary Napoleon Ice Cream |
For 400 Euros (not real money, there is no such thing), where was the first amusement ride to be made totally out of ivory produced? The answer, of course, is the Ivory Coast which made the Ivory Coaster in 2001.
For 800 pancakes, what is the pen name of Mark Twain? That is a trick question. If you said Mark Twain only wrote using pencil, then you can expect to receive your pancakes in the mail in 6-10 years.
The amounts are going up, so the questions will get tougher. Make sure your thinking caps are securely stapled to your heads.
For 1600 cans of Gorilla Glue Hair Spray, can you name the juiciest brand of talcum powder? If you said Welch's Juicy Concord Talcum powder, then you are absolutely right.
For a $3200 coupon applicable to the purchase of metal stucco parchment paper, can you name all 7,912 members of the Beatles? If you said anything at all, you are wrong. There was no band called the Beatles. You should be ashamed of yourself.
For 6400 days in the back seat of a Ford Galaxy 500, who invented papyrus? The answer is Pope Papyrus IX. Holy paper inventors, Batman!
At this point I would like to let you know that you should be keeping your answer reading eye closed until you have shared your answer. That way you won't be tempted to cheat and read the answers. It is just polite.
Finally, for $10,000 dollars worth of natural gas (supplied by a vaporous beef farm) what is the square root of the round table? That's right, try angle rhom-beer. Hope you got that one right.
Prizes will be sent out by courier pigeon. If you don't get your prizes within 100 years you can submit a claim form to our complaint department.
See you next week!
And all this tumbles out of your noggen spontaneously, eh? I try not to be amazed, and usually succeed at it, except when I read another one of your posts knowing you are well in advance of your posts for the year, as you near your virtual disconnect from the almanac temporarily, (I add hopefully), in your pursuit of a Pulitzer Prize in Littering or at the every least, a place on the New York Times Fart Smeller List. I hail ye! Yer damn good.
ReplyDeleteFor a free lifetime subscription to the Wannaskan Almanac, what writer has never suffered from writer's block?
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