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Sunday News

 


The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 35

Man Creates New Pancake Flavor 

Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently created a new pancake flavor. “I was assisting in making turkey gravy recently for the annual church dinner. The woman who had made the gravy for fifty years had retired and four of us younger workers were attempting to recreate her technique for making gravy for five hundred. A step must have been missed because large clumps of flour floated to the top of the cauldron. As I watched our tallest worker strain the clumps out I suggested the clumps could be fried as pancakes. Another worker commented that turkey flavored pancakes sounded delicious.” In a follow-up email McDonnell admitted the comment may have been meant sarcastically. “I’m ok with that,” he says. “I can stand the heat.”


Man Awakes from Longterm Nightmare 

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a DIY fan, recently discovered he had been worried about something that wasn’t a problem. “Before we go on a trip I test the sump pump in case there are heavy rains while we’re gone. The pump is in an awkward place and I’ve always feared that it would be extremely hard to replace, especially if the pump failed when the cellar was flooding.” McDonnell admits to a sinking heart when the pump failed to work during his test. “The motor hummed but the impeller seemed to be stuck. As I examined things closely I saw that by removing two clamps and sliding up a rubber sleeve I could wiggle the pump out of its sump. I was able to free the impeller and had everything back together in minutes. I’m thinking of replacing the pump now before it breaks during a flood, but I worry the new pump could be defective, so I’ll leave well enough alone.”



Squib Cellar


For a marriage to endure, delusion must be abandoned and reality accepted. He is not Ken. She is not Barbie. 



Church is a spiritual amusement park where the lines are incredibly long. 



Daniel Boone got up every morning and hacked away at the wilderness. 

I do the same with my email inbox. 



When things are bad I try to remember that this too shall pass. When things are good, I try to forget it. 



I awake in the morning rich in energy 

By the afternoon I’m depleted 

A nap is like a stop at the ATM



The singular cell

Divides to make two 

To make a new me

It seems I need you 

Comments

  1. to walk along the Thames is bold, especially when you’re kind of old.
    will be thinking about you all week long
    eagerly awaiting your travel song.

    ReplyDelete

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