Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 20

Man Restores Seep

Joe McDonnell 78, residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently restored a galvanized watering can to its previous seepage level. "A two gallon galvanized watering can is expensive," McDonnell tells the press. “I bought our can on sale in the local hardware store over twenty years ago. A few years later it started seeping slowly.  You had to remember to leave it on the grass and not on the steps or porch. This spring the seep had increased to an unacceptable leak. I held the can up to a strong leak and put a sealant where I saw daylight. Twenty four hours later I added water and it still leaked. I ran sealant around the entire bottom rim. Next day it was leaking in only one spot. I put more sealant on that one spot. The next morning the can was seeping like it had been for the previous 15 years. Good enough."

Man Receives Windfall

Joe McDonnell, 78 and always looking to save a buck, recently received a free two month supply of firewood. "Last winter the charity where we volunteer said they would be trimming their trees this spring,” McDonnell tells reporters. "When they called this week we dropped everything and drove our little truck to town. It was disconcerting having the trimmer up in his bucket dropping hundred pound logs down while we scurried around hauling away the smaller branches to the trash pile.. A third volunteer said we could use his big trailer to haul our logs home and a fourth volunteer said he would haul the trailer with his big truck. All hail the volunteer spirit!"

Squib Cellar

We had a Polish pope to free the Eastern Bloc. The Chicago pope's mission is to make America good again. 

Great art is highly valued.

Until it falls into the hands of one who does not know how to value it.

Then comes your chance to find a masterpiece in a thrift store.

When I arrive in hell, I'll ask for yeast and salt and flour, and water. 

Yes, there's water in hell too.

Because fresh bread can make even hell heavenly.

Two reasons kids are better than pets:

1 They eventually move out and take responsibility for their messes.

2 They usually outlive you, and won’t need grieving.

Body-mind-spirit. 

Life is a chess game always being played on three levels.

Body is simple. 

Mind has crazy rules. 

Spirit is a free-for-all. 

Homo sapiens has known three revolutions: Agricultural, Industrial, Information. 

Hand on plow, hand on loom, phone in hand. 

Thoreau complained his college focused on all the branches of knowledge and none of the roots. Nowadays the focus is on the STEMs.