Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 22

Man Runs Over Tent

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently ran over a tent that was blowing across the freeway. "The tent wasn't moving when we first saw it." McDonnell tells the press. "We noticed the cars in front of of us moving left and right to avoid the tent which appeared to be a giant green rag. I moved right but just before we got to the tent, a strong wind puffed it up and scooted it into our lane. There was the sound of a tent being rapidly dismantled as we ran over it. Our engine started roaring and we slowed down. I wondered if the tent had disconnected our engine from the transmission. Then I realized that when I had stomped on the brakes, an iPad shot off the center console and knocked the shifter into neutral. No harm done. I saw the truck behind us, possibly the tent’s owner, stop and pick up the tent.

Man Enjoys Boat Story 

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a good listener, recently listened to a long story about a shipping disaster while in a line for tacos. "I was at a wedding and supper was being provided at a taco  truck parked behind the venue, which was an old but very nice barn. I wanted to wait till the line went down but some guests I knew encouraged me to join them in the line. I didn't know the guest behind my group, but thanks to the much shorter line at the open bar, everyone was in a convivial mood. Soon I was listening to a long and amusing story about the guest's boating disaster. The guest's son joined us, said he needed a drink, and was soon back contributing notes on the story. The guest had gotten the boat for free but had spent several hundred dollars getting the boat ready for the disaster. The guest would say something like the boat was filled with rainwater and the son would add, because the boat cover had blown off. They pulled the boat out of the lake, but the trailer had a flat. The spare tire was at home with the jack. The two people at home three miles away who could have brought the spare and jack were not answering their phones because their phones were in an athletic bag somewhere else. With the beer, the son added. The story's climax and happy resolution arrived just as we reached the taco truck. Dulce*

*Sweet

Squib Cellar

Alcohol rounds the edges off a square so it can roll & rock. 

Doing the most difficult thing on your plate leaves you with the second most difficult thing. Start with the easiest thing then you’ll have the second easiest thing to do and so on till you’re dead.  

We insist on liking someone before loving them. 

Start with love and like will follow. 

One fly: I catch and release.

Two flies: I bomb.

Boredom is the background noise out of which awe pops up, if we're watching.

Water alone won't remove a stain, but given enough time, water will remove the stain as well as the thing that it's staining.