Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 18

Man Restores Flow 

Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently restored full flow in the Shêdeau (guest house) shower. "The little holes in the shower head nozzle had become plugged with minerals," McDonnell tells reporters. "This happens because the water in the Shêdeau comes straight from the well without being softened. I never use the Shêdeau shower so I rely on guest complaints to spur me to action. After a recent complaint I took the nozzle plate out of the shower head with the plan to poke a sewing needle through the holes to clean them. The plate sat on the sewing machine for several weeks, but realizing the summer guest season will soon be here, I got the nozzle holes reamed, reassembled the head, and reinstalled it on the shower wand. I don't expect to hear any shower related complaints for several years."

Man resolves oatmeal dilemma 

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a home foods scientist, recently found a solution for his wife's dislike of oatmeal. "She recently hopped on the oatmeal bandwagon to take advantage of oatmeal's power to scrape bad cholesterol out of her arteries and veins," McDonnell says in a written report to the press, "but she dislikes the texture of oatmeal. I've always bought the large economy size of off-brand rolled oats, but decided to try steel cut oats to see if she would like that any better. The steel cut oats were only available in small and very expensive name brand containers. She said it was marginally less yukkie which was good, but I found the price differential troubling. After a search of the market shelves I found a "quick" version of steel cut oats in a more reasonably priced, but still small, off brand container. Everyone is now marginally less dissatisfied."

Squib Cellar

When I pop down a rabbit hole I tie a string to my hind leg so I can find my way out of the maze, but more importantly, to limit time wasted down there.

I accept that I'm an idler, but I like to see myself as an idler pulley, without which the engine cannot go. 

Would the scientist, trying to figure out the origin of life, trade the last year of their life for a trip four billion years into the past?

I drive down the center of Triage Road. The ditch on one side is shallow. They can tow me to the shop if I go in. The other side is deep. They’ll have to take me to the junkyard…when they have time. 

Getting feeble in old age helps us fend off senescence. We must exercise our brains much more to get what we want. 

The British are criticized for their class system. Here in America, we are proud of deciding for ourselves who we associate with. We tend to choose those who are like us which is a class system all on its own.