Sunday Squibs

 

Mastering the surf at Waikiki: good. 

Not wiping out in a wave of panic: better. 

Post-humorous: a joke that was funny pre-woke but is now dead.  

Salvation now! demand heaven’s guerrillas. 

An organization doubles your one dollar donation by selling your name to a hundred other organizations for a penny each. 

There was an uproar a few years ago when it was rumored the government was going to charge a penny for each email sent. 

-We should have done it. 

It would have wiped out spam and the national debt in a single year. 

To remember to do a thing I must set out clues, a key here, a pill there, as my mother used to lay my clothes on a chair and my lunch by the door. 

One friend is dumb. Another’s a hussy

To have lots of friends, one cannot be fussy

The perfect friend has a little better taste and a bit less intelligence than ourselves, but perfect is a lonely place. 

A former president was mocked for pronouncing the name of the national park: yo•sem’•ite. 

I was shocked by his cultural cluelessness. He had never been introduced to the pantheon of Sam, Sylvester, Elmer, and Bugs.

And he didn’t even know what updoc was. 

Having both a left wing and a right, the Holy Spirit flies above politics.