Sometime next week the Wannaskan Almanac will turn 1500! I know that millions of avid readers are just as excited as I am! There are many events not planned for that day. There will not be a parade. There will not be a ceremonial ribbon cutting at the Wannaskan Almanac World Headquarters. There is likely not going to be a Presidential pardon for our Canadian writers imprisoned in Denmark for making fun of cheese danishes. No, none of those things will likely happen. I have heard that Steve and Joe will be celebrating with free shots of Guinness stout...until they run out.
 |
| And we thought we wouldn't make it past a week! |
Chairman Joe: "I would like to personally thank both of our readers. Without you this undertaking would seem like a huge waste of time. Except for Mr. Hot Coco. He obviously spends little to no time at all working on his blogs!" (Note: Thanks for the shout out CJ!)
Joe-Wednesday's Child: "For those of you who have sent in the questions over and over again...Chairman Joe and I are not the same person. We are not related at all. We just happen to like the name Joe. Like this guy."
Perhaps, someday, Joey Joe Joe will be a writer like all the other Joe's.
Jack Pine Savage: "First of all, I do not give anyone permission to use my quotes. Second of all, do not put my words in a sequential list. Finally, I do not like the word finally. Do not put any of that into one of your nonsensical blogs!" (Note: May or may not have happened)
Kim Hruba: "If you put in that song about Hruba, Jamaica...ooh I want to take you to Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama...then my lawyers will be in touch with you again." (Note: Thanks for the heads up. I will not put that comment in my blog.)
Wannaska Writer: "Wow, 1500 blog posts already? I honestly thought this would die out shortly after we sobered up the next day." (Note: According to sources some of us have not sobered up quite yet since that day so many years ago.)
As you can tell, we are all one big happy family of writers. What does the future hold? Will we make it to 2000? 2500? Will we break Cal Ripken's iron man streak of 2632? As Georgia O'Keeffe once said, "Probably Not!" At least we will still have our sanity and a lifelong income from all our previous posts!
Until we meet again, peace!
Happy 1500-day sesquimillendial! Since we're sharing, here's a little-known Jack Pine Savage factoid:
ReplyDeleteLike another great thought-leaders, JPS has a red button on her desk, which when pressed, rings an alarm on my desk - a signal for me to bring her an ice-cold Diet Coke on a silver platter.
We just ran out of Guinness shots.
ReplyDeleteBut there’s more coming tomorrow.
Okay, okay I'll have to say something given the fact that everyone else is chiming in -- and one of them is supposed to be me, on top of it all, but hardly representative of a writer of my caliber, 1.77, .22, or otherwise, (as it's all about bullet placement as anyone worthy of shooting off their mouths can attest )-- and we all do it on our specific days, week in, week out, whether being our individual ages of 74 to 17 (WAKWIR -- you too!) we put our necks on the chopping block with every post then click the "Publish" icon.
ReplyDeleteYou realize just how much we're 'out there' because of this blog post with over 140, 000 views last time I looked, and that doesn't include going on four years of W.A. views on THE RAVEN/Facebook site that Jackie enters every day. By googling our names, pseudonyms, or 'Wannaskan Almanac,' Poof! There's Chairman Joe aka Edward Scissorhands at a glass recycling station in Thief River Falls, Minnesoter strutting his stuff.
Before Wannaskan Almanac, Chairman Joe was a little known personage on the world stage; a lesser read blog post intentionally misspelled as "The Blogings of Chairman Joe," on purpose so his post would be at the top of the list when googled and not buried under the countless searches for "The Bloggings of Chairman Joe," someplace else, and you know where ...
Enter Saturday's blogger's name and find 29 websites alone, up to Vera Ralston, a Czech figure skater and actress, who bears a striking likeness to K.H. and leaves one begging the question, if K.H. is actually Wonder Woman as all her readers (and not just a few of her fellow bloggers) suspect.
Don't even start googling "Red Button/Silver Platter," unless your computer and phone take the overload of information, inferences from the CIA, FBI, KGB, NRA, PETA, NAACP, and ROTC, plus numerous other acronyms notwithstanding; -- and, the NCP who she's stood up more than once, upon requests to read the opener at their national gathering at the Western Folk Life Center in Elko, Nevada.
Word Wednesday is equally radiant when it comes to Wannaskan Almanac notoriety. A seldom-seen-in-public personage, he's best known for quick escapes, sleight of hand, and literary romps citing obscure authored works that no one else in the world except RB/SP; and possibly CJ, or KH, would know. Completely lesser known is his invention of an artillery device apparently, catching this reader by surprise.
Mister Hot CoCo, I'll get to, in a few minutes ... excuse me.
I'm back... Where was I? Ah yes, Mr. Hot Coco, 'author.'
ReplyDeleteYou know faithful readers, "Garçon avec des mèches fluides et un sourire de garçon, des rires tout autour et pas un mot de vérité de sa bouche," -- or "Hey you, Johnny-boy! Where's my money?" as he is also fondly called at the Baudette and Warroad marinas, in Baudette, Minnesota and Warroad, Minnesota, respectively, did want to quit this gig a year or so ago, to renew his lucrative Young Adult Reader series books author lifestyle.
Fortunately for us wannabe-writers, JB was shamed into staying, at least for awhile longer, when we all did quite a bit of weeping and gnashing of teeth begging him for his continued support. And continue he did, by writing his blog posts several weeks ahead so to provide himself some serious lead time of maybe two years towards his inevitable departure back among the borderland's rich and famous storytellers -- and something to do serving his time in a minimum security facility up by International Falls, eh.
Still, Mr, Hot Coco is good to write. Tick, tick, tick...
Ah...you have satired me into sobriety...
DeleteYour caricatures are spot on, Mr. Hot Coco. My favorite being JPS. I contacted my lawyer and he said as long as you use him in the future, we can call it fairsie-squaresies.
ReplyDeleteAh ha! I just did the calculations and it appears that the REAL 1,500th blog post falls on a Saturday. (I wasn't a math major, though, so don't hold me to it.) In any case, if the numbers align and indeed it does fall on my February 12, I will be sure to light the place up with gif fireworks.
ReplyDelete