November 9. What is your favorite November 9 story? Does it have to do with shopping for a turkey? Or is it all about trying to get those Christmas lights up before it gets too cold? Listed below are some things that sort of happened on November 9.
1330 In the Battle of Posada, Wallachian voievode Basarab I defeats the Hungarian army. The Hungarian army is said to have lost because nobody could pronounce Wallachian's name. They spent their whole time snickering about how Wal..Wall...that guy who just didn't seem to be himself when you are Hungary.
1541 Queen Catherine Howard (Henry VIII's fifth wife) confined in Tower of London. It isn't know if she was quarantined there due to Covid or due to listening to loud music late at night. Records from the time are sketchy. Here is a sample.
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| Sketch of Queen Catherine's record player |
1580 Spanish troops land in Ireland. In a sign of respect to Columbus the Spaniards claim that they have landed in India and immediately start calling the Irish "Indians".
1620 After a month of delays off the English coast and about two months at sea, the Mayflower spots land (Cape Cod). In a sign of respect to Columbus the Spaniards...oh wait, I said that already. Oh yeah, they decide before landing to rename their ship (which was quite small) the Mayflower Compact. They claimed to get 45 miles to the gallon but the EPA questioned their numbers.
1673 English King Charles II dismisses Earl of Shaftesbury. The good Earl felt like he had really been stabbed in the back...like Charles had buried the shaft in his back.
1729 Spain, France & Britain sign Treaty of Seville. Dave Seville to be exact. This paved the way for the greatest band in history to be formed.
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| After almost 400 years the Chipmunks are still rocking...and countrying...and rapping |
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte pulls off a coup and becomes the dictator of France. The French leader was partying like it was 1799.
1857 Atlantic Monthly magazine 1st published. The centerfold was of the North Sea...with some purposefully placed staples. Removing the staples resulted in charges of indecency.
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| Sorry, the cover is all I dare show you |
1904 1st airplane flight to last more than 5 minutes. Peanuts were served. Three days later the first air sickness bag was invented.
1930 1st nonstop airplane flight from New York to Panama. Peanuts were served. Three days later...dang it! I already said that too! Van Halen was said to have jumped on this early flight to Panama.
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| Fashion was very important on flights in 1930 |
1939 Nobel Prize for physics awarded to American Ernest Lawrence for his invention of the cyclotron. The original cyclotron resembled a vacuum cleaner, but could transform into a bicycle. Housewives found this to be convenient and stupid, which is pretty much standard for most Nobel Prizes.
1949 Costa Rica adopts Constitution. Up until this time they had been unable to conceive a Constitution of their own. They had gone to fertility clinics...and had even removed the staple from an 1857 copy of the Atlantic all to no avail.
1953 Supreme Court rules Major League baseball exempt from anti-trust laws. Uncle-trust laws remain in effect even to this day.
1962 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site. Fans of US rush the stage eagerly seeking autographs. The Nevada Test Site event security team takes three days to calm the situation. Nuclear test is banned from radio stations and US eventually breaks up. The lead singer eventually joins Journey.
1968 USSR performs nuclear test at Eastern Kazakh. The band is sued for copyright infringement by the surviving members of US.
1972 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site. I grow tired of this story. I must move on.
2015 "Love Yourself" single released by Justin Bieber. It replaces "Nuclear Test" as the biggest bomb ever released.
Thus ends this parody. See you next week. Got to go hang some lights.
DD DD
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ReplyDeleteInteresting that Mr. Hot Coco views history through the music of his youth.
I am the walrus.