Wannaskan Almanac for November 23, 2021 Tis Mother's Day

I have not fallen off my rocker...it is actually Mother's Day today.  To be more specific, it is my Mother's birthday.  Phyllis Armstrong was born on this day in 1864 in a little one room log cabin on the plains of southern Alberta.  There were no doctors or midwives to help with the delivery so a traveling shoe salesman was put in charge of the proceedings.  The happy parents bought a pair of shoes as a thank you.  

Photo of the Armstrong cabin on the prairies

Phyllis started school immediately, as all Canadian children do.  Canadian law requires all children to begin school by the time they are three days old.  The main reason for that is it took up to 3 years each way to make the dangerous trek to school.  Even on the plains the trip was uphill both ways and there was always a steep incline no matter which route you took there or back.  

Photo of a teenaged Phyllis heading to school, summer of 1869

During the week of the Canadian summer, the children (including Phyllis) were required to spend their time gathering Canada's most important crop...colorful wildflowers.  These wildflowers are then dumped into huge vats where the children stomp on them, releasing the colorful pigments.  An actual video of Phyllis stomping wildflowers appears below.

It is from these colors that Canadian money is made.  One ton of flowers is enough to color 500 Canadian dollars, which is worth almost 50 cents in America.  

Colorful, like a field of Canadian wildflowers

At the age of 16, Phyllis graduated from High School and moved to Ontario.  All Canadians either move to Ontario or Quebec in order to show their allegiance to either their English or French heritage.  That is why few people live in Nunavut.  They are the ones who, when faced with the choice of English or French, choose to have Nunavut.  

Nunavut bikini team, disappointed that Phyllis chose Ontario

Phyllis got married and had three lovely children and one son.  She worked hard (like most Canadian women) to get the stains off of her feet from all the wildflower stomping.  In a strange twist of fate she exiled her lovely children (and son) to the United States in hopes that they could avoid the dangers of wildflower foot staining.  

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the true story of how a barely literate man became a prolific writer for the Wannaskan Almanac.  

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!