Wannaskan Almanac

Today is March 31.  It is the last day of the first quarter of 2020.  A quarter is just a fancy way of saying one-fourth.  It is one of five commonly used words in the English language that start with the letter Q.  The other four words are Queen, Question, Quality, and Quadratic (as in Quadratic Equation).  All other words that start with Q have been banned in backwoods Kentucky, which pretty much eliminate their use for all but the very highest educated people. The word quarter comes from the Latin word "quartus".  Quartus can either be translated as "fourth" or as a common way of ordering milk at pubs in the middle ages.  Pub-goers loved the taste of fresh cow milk, and since the common size at the time was 1/4 of a gallon, they would just say "quart us" to order it. In the mid 14th century, quarter referred to cutting a body in fourths.  To quarter someone was an extreme punishment, usually reserved for terrible crimes.  In the 1590's "...

Let us enjoy the little joes of poets while we can; if our souls are unbelieved, they will be gone soon enough Joe Dunthorne New York Review of Books “O Positive” Angela Mlinko  “A Walk through Someone Else” The above epigram seems appropriate today, or any day for that matter, and it has nothing to do with today’s guest poet, Jim Johnson, a fellow Minnesotan, who has published seven books of poetry, including  The First Day of Spring in Northern Minnesota , and  A Field Guide to Blueberries . The poem below is from his 2015 collection,  Yoik , from Red Dragonfly Press. He has taught in the Duluth public schools and at the College of St. Scholastica. He was the 2008-2010 Duluth Poet Laureate and was named to a second term in 2015. In the introduction to  Yoik , from which the poems below have been chosen, Johnson echoes the epigram above when he states, “Had [scientists] only listened to the poets so much times spent in tedious experiments in ...

Agriculture is being blamed for the pandemic. Twelve thousand years ago we started living with animals and in towns. Which led to culture and anesthesia and other nice things.  Any takers for going back? Writers should welcome the lockdown. Some of the world's greatest literature has been written from prison: Epistles of Paul, Travels of Marco Polo , Pilgrim's Progress, Don Quixote , etc., etc. I was worried the governor's restrictions on large gatherings would mess up my birthday celebration. Then I decided to throw ten parties with ten people each. Of course it was the same ten people, but what the hey. Marshmallow head peeps Our commander-in-cheeps Says get off your keister The day after Easter I'm not afraid of the virus. Rather, I'm afraid of having to act like I'm afraid of the virus. Now let us pray. Chairman Joe

Well, everyone, the coronavirus has gotten almost everywhere, in the slip of a couple of weeks. And you may have predicted that schools would eventually close in Minnesota. Well they did. First, they were going to be closed until yesterday, the 27th. But now they are closed until Star Wars Day. Well, you may have assumed that I would be like: “This is the time of my life! No school till the beginning of May!” But as always, my school has to be one of the many, many, many unlucky schools to have computers that students take home. Now, you may be thinking: Why might that be bad? You can play on them on your so-called “break”. No. One of my spies, whose dad is our school's superintendent, told me in advance that the school was plotting something called Distance Learning . I was appalled by the fact that we would have to do - not just any regular homework, like a big packet - no. Online learning. It was a fact I had to embrace. The only thing that was good about this school closure, ...

If you had enough money in Cincinnati back in the late 1800s, you could buy your way out of legal troubles, even a charge of murder. Your lawyer would either bribe your judge or bribe or intimidate the jury members. It didn't matter which as long as you got off. The lawyer for a German immigrant named William Berner, who was on trial for murder, tampered with Berner's jury.  Berner and an accomplice were accused of murdering and robbing their employer, a livery stable owner. The accomplice was African-American so he was quickly tried and hanged. Bermer had more options. Berner's lawyer went through 500 potential jurors before finding twelve he knew would give him the verdict he wanted.  The trial dragged on for almost three months and on March 26, 1884, the jury returned a verdict of manslaughter, despite hearing testimony from seven witnesses who had heard Berner say he was planning to kill his boss. The judge gave Berner the maximum sentence of 20 years and said ...

Thursday, March 26, 2020 No surprise, I drink bottled beer. Joe drinks wine. Our friends enjoy various beverages, some in glass, some in aluminum or plastic. It doesn’t take too long for accumulations to develop after a month, so recycling becomes necessary. Because Roseau County stopped recycling glass a few years ago, we go to Pennington County, Thief River Falls specifically, to recycle, calling the event “A Bottle Run.” So it was, after Joe’s yearly St. Patrick’s Day party, we became two more coronavirus flouters among the probable hundreds across northwestern Minnesota, who, because of no known cases here  as of the 19th of March, decided, then undecided, then decided, then hesitated, then decided to go on a bottle run anyway and severly limit our interaction with other people. Joe and his wife had planned to drive to a family wedding in Boston, leaving here on March 21, and being gone a month, touring the east coast as far as South Carolina. But the coronavirus put a stop to ...

And here is the COVID-19 edition of Wannaskan Almanac for Word-Wednesday, March 25, 2020, the 13th Wednesday of the year, the 85th day of the year, with 281 days remaining, but only 7 days until April 1st. Nordhem Lunch: Hot Turkey Plate Days without a positive COVID-19 test for Wannaska Almanac contributing authors: 26,663 Earth/Moon Almanac for March 25, 2020 Sunrise: 7:155am; Sunset: 7:44pm; 3 minutes, 36 seconds more daylight today Moonrise: 8:12am; Moonset: 9:07pm, waxing crescent Temperature Almanac for March 25, 2020                 Average          Record           Today High             39                   64          ...

I ran across a facebook post (yes, I am still attached to that crazy social media) which I found to be quite unique.  It told the story of a man who was driven to an A-Team style revenge against his city.  The story follows: June 4th 2019 marked the 15th anniversary of the Killdozer's rampage through Granby Colorado. Sit down kids and let me tell you a tale, about a reasonable man driven to do unreasonable things. Marvin Heemeyer was a man who owned a muffler shop in Granby Colorado. The city council ordained to approve the construction of a concrete factory in the lot across from Marvin's shop. In the process this blocked the only access road to the muffler shop. Marvin petitioned to stop the construction to no avail. Petitioned to construct a new access road, and even bought the heavy machinery to do so himself. Denied. The concrete factory went up in disregard to the ramifications on Marvin's business. To add insult to injury, the factory construction disconnected t...

The second city adventure continues. Our main character suddenly feels caught up in the life of others, in particular, the woman in black. With some hesitation, the scruffy and somewhat smelly MC accepts the invitation to accompany her to a funeral where a man is to be burned with his boat. Although dipping a toe into this community, the objective of getting to the sea remains. So, the protagonist is “among them, not of them.” This segment focuses on death and reactions to it. The MC is still young and coming face-to-face with death is somewhat of a surprise. Although this segment is about half the length of the usual, it is packed with serious matters; even Argose is low-key. The interaction between the MC and Ratcliff continues briefly at this point, and will pick up again in a later segment. “I can’t eat yet, but I will go with you             that is if you won’t be embarrassed by me.” “You can stay off to ...