October 8, 2019 How Did the Octopus do at Football?

There is a plethora of exciting holidays in October.  There is Halloween, International Coffee Day, and National Cat Day, but those days pale in comparison to the three awesome holidays you can celebrate today. 

Today is World Octopus Day.  If you have never celebrated these venomous creatures before then you are in luck!  Before today I didn’t know that all octopi are venomous.  I am so glad that I didn’t put any in my swimming pool.  Would my face have been red…or blue as the venom worked.  Anyway, octopi worldwide are celebrating today.  Won’t you join them?

I am afraid to let you know that it is also Face Your Fears Day today.  There are many strange phobias that people have.  Nomophobia is a fear of not having ready access to your cell phone.  This could be due to being in an area where there is no phone service or running out of battery life.  Estimates are that over 50% of cell phone users suffer from nomophobia.  Teens can be extremely traumatized when their parents resort to phone grounding consequences…or, as I like to say…No Mo’ Phone!  Another terrifying affliction is ancraophobia.  People who deal with this are afraid of wind.  They try to avoid things like open windows, tornadoes, and chili eating contests.  The fear of Octopi is not officially recognized, but if it were it would be cephalophobia.  It would seem that more people are afraid of trying to pronounce the word as opposed to actually suffering from this fear. 

With all that said, how do you face your fears…especially if you are afraid of octopi?  Well, the best way to accomplish this is to just stop it.  You can watch a video about that here. 

Finally we get to the day that I have been eagerly anticipating…Salmon Day!  Salmon are often overlooked due to the fact that they are terribly under-represented in Congress.  They don’t even play into the Electoral College.  They don’t even get to go to electrical college.  But at least salmon taste great.  My favorite salmon is one that has been smoked. 

By now you are probably frantically trying to figure out which day you plan to celebrate.  Don’t worry…I got you covered.  Put them all together and celebrate them at once.  Why not face your fear of octopi by slapping one in the face with a salmon.  Voila, your celebrations are done.  Then smoke that salmon and send it to:

Salmon Day World Headquarters

1318 Fake Street

Anytown, Wyoming

5971014

Your salmon will really make our day!
Oh yeah, I almost forgot...how did the octopus do at football?  He had ten tackles!