Wannaskan Almanac for Thursday, October 18, 2018

 Scatalogical Evidence

by WannaskaWriter

“I find that the bears are fairly friendly as long as you don’t threaten them. I have shared  wild berry patches with them and they never paid much attention to me. They are welcome to come play in my yard any time.” --- Wayne “Blackbird” L.

“Aye, likely makwa is your clan brother, Blackbird. They recognize you in another form, "Oh, that's just Wayne" they say to their young uns. "He's fairly friendly if you don't threaten him. He eats berries too, don't pay him any mind. He's welcome here.

I won’t point out that you carry a gun everyday of the week, even to church, but I'm not out to hunt them, I just don't want to run into the wrong one. I've had opportunities to shoot them, but just talked them away. Don't see any point in killing one, if I don't absolutely have to.”--WannaskaWriter

“I know what your Almanac post will be about this week. That's predictable.
Now if the bears had eaten you...that would have been poetry.
And your remains would have been 'scatted' over your property.”
--- The Wannaskan Almanac Sunday Squib Man

On Sunday afternoon, I took a hike up to "John's Stand" so I could determine what it needed be done to it before the start of deer season. Walking quietly through the woods northwest of our house I came upon two deer, a doe and its fawn, probably a yearling. I had the advantage of the wind--that is, the wind was blowing from them to me, rather than from me to them. They couldn't smell me although they saw me and because I had been quiet and didn't scare them initially, they looked at me with curiosity. Keeping the fawn behind her, the doe approached me cautiously ready to bolt in a second should she lose her nerve--and did. Then they both ran away. I saw three more deer later while I was in the stand, a doe and two fawns, eating in the newly replanted food plot east of it.

This afternoon, after all my household chores, I went back to "John's Stand", with a few tools and materials I knew I needed. The day was again cloudy and threatening rain or snow. As I walked over an area I had burned this spring, and headed up a rise into the pines we planted 27 years ago, I thought of a conversation Jerry Solom and I had a few weeks ago about taking for granted that we are safe on our farms up here, here where we have packs of coyotes, wolves and bears that frequent the river and creek beds that run through our places in particular. We never give a thought to leaving our house at night, or anytime, that we may encounter one or a half dozen of these animals. 
So it was I was thinking of purchasing a pistol to carry on these walks and what I have to do, legal-wise, to purchase one. I had been thinking of carrying my 30-30 rifle, but it's a hassle if I have to carry something else in addition, a pistol makes good sense, as a noisemaker if nothing else.

I always look for animal tracks come fall. Deer tracks tell me when deer have been through and where they're going. Smaller tracks that look like a dog's track can be coyote or fox. Bigger dog tracks as big as my hand would be timber or gray wolf tracks. A couple weeks ago I saw the tracks of a single bear west of our house, that was headed south away from us. Tracks looked like a small one. Then we had three bears come through the yard a month ago and leave a pile of poop by the house. In addition, five or six days ago, one ripped our empty bird feeder down and broke it. When we got back from a recent weekend trip, a bear or something weighty, turned our propane grill over. We don't have a dog anymore so these things are just noises in the night or images on our trail cameras. We rarely see them firsthand.

So there I was in John's Stand today, Monday, working on weather sealing one of the four windows when I suddenly saw three black animals on the far end of the food plot and realized they were bears. I'm not sure where they came from, what direction. They were just 'there', the sow and a cub were black, the other cub was brown. I think they may have been the three we saw last year on the trail cameras and licked the Subaru from stem to stern. I called Jackie and then took a video to record my adventure.

They all left the little field after ten minutes or so. They ate the green rye, oats and turnips planted there. They laid around and scratched themselves then left the field going south, into the wind. 

A couple hours later, just as I began unlocking the door to get down, they came back, traveling with the wind, so I stayed put. The sow left the food plot first, heading northerly. The cubs kept eating. The brown cub got up and walked along the south edge of the plot aways, then stood up on its hind legs, looking southeasterly, then quickly dropped to all fours and ran off the plot with the black cub close behind, both running with the wind. 

I watched them until I couldn't see them, then went down the ladder and swung southwest from the stand heading for home. My rifle will be with me until I buy a pistol after this. Jackie isn't happy about bears being so close here now. "Maybe you should shoot more often now" And so I shall... just to make a little noise.



Scatalogical Evidence
by WannaskaWriter

Hhhhmmmppphhhh, Ma!
Ulp! Is this a zipper?
He couldn’t run worth shit
In the woods, he was a tripper!

Easy in, tough out,
Shoulda stripped him first
Eatin’ him with his Carhartts on
My tummys set to burst!

MA!! I’m sick
Nevr’ll eat man again
What’s this? A Bic?
This guys loaded with pens!

He’s like a porky pine
But’ ‘is quills inside
You said ‘ed be tender
But Ma, you lied!

“e wasn’t much of a fighter
Curled up like a wee baby lamb
His armor was ‘is clothing
I’ll never eat another man!

Humans ain’t much for thinkin’,
wese bears know dats true
It wasn’t like ‘e was stinkin,
nor comin’ off the loo
 
For we’ve sent boys runnin’,
dere pants ‘round dere feet
Takin’ dere poop agin a tree
Dey a sight for one bear or three,
hoohah!

No, dis one here was gunless too
Another who, never followed t’rough
Who hemmed and hawed the whole day through
Whether
To carry a gun in the woods

“There’s a bigger chance of being hurt in your car,
than by wolf, coyote, or bear,” she said.
But this man thought he’d be safer 'round b'ar
carryin’ some serious lead.

If he’d only sung or whistled,
as he walked with the wind in his face
Old sow and cubs could’ve run away
from their favorite place

But there he was,
and there they were,
the four could’nt been more startled
-- the sow was the one who acted fast.

Carhartts are tough clothes.