Sunday News

 

The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 51

Man Does Not Buy Third Home

Joe McDonnell, 78 and a resident of Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently pulled back from buying a third house. "We already have two houses in the country," McDonnell tells the press. "We live in one and put guests in the other one. If the workload in the country ever becomes too heavy, it would be good to have a small place in town where there would be fewer things to fix. If we bought this place we could rent it until we needed it. The real estate agent said the place in town that caught our eye had had water damage inside the house, but that there was a new roof in place. The closer we got to the house, the more things we saw that would have to be dealt with. Seeing the extent of the water damage extinguished our interest in the house especially since the price was controlled by a governmental entity that would not negotiate." McDonnell reported later that he was relieved that the deal fell through. "Once you buy a house in town, you start thinking about moving into it," he said. "I'm not ready for that."

Man Rescues Sweeper From Chimney

Joe McDonnell, 78 and the son of a firefighter, recently lost his cleaning brush in the chimney while cleaning the chimney. "Cleaning the chimney is my least favorite job, but it has to be done regularly," McDonnell tells reporters. "My nightmare scenario is to have the brush come unscrewed from the rod and get hung up in the chimney pipe. This is exactly what happened the other day. It was getting colder by the minute and there were guests coming to stay in the guest house next day, but the chimney was unusable with this blockage. My hope was that if I started removing sections of pipe I'd be able to reach the brush, which is how things worked out.  With everything put back together we soon had the place warming up." In a follow-up email McDonnell says he has obtained a product that he brushed on the threads between the brush and the rod to keep the two together. "I don't foresee having the brush-stuck-in-chimney problem in future," he says 

Squib Cellar

In meditation I quiet all my thoughts - except for the one on replay that sings, How great I art.

If the Cloud Is ever attacked and destroyed, that would be our version of the burning of the great Library of Alexandria in 48 BC. 

I look forward to the Golden Age of texting. Or has it already passed?

When Eve bit the apple, God crumpled Eve, Adam, and his new universe into a tiny ball and said, “Let there be bang”.

I now have more respect for the dust around my house since I learned half of it is my own daily sloughed off skin cells. 

And the rest is stardust from the Big Bang. 

Mansplaining is useful when it tells a woman how to avoid rush hour in Phoenix. 

Not so much when it attempts to help with rush hour in her soul.