Wannaskan Almanac

Welcome to the Wannaskan Almanac for Friday, March 16.      'Tis the eve of Saint Patrick's Day, and much as I revere Ireland's patron, I wonder why he gets all the glory. The great St. Columba runs a distant second, and the many other spiritual heroes of Ireland get forgotten. Well I intend to remedy that.      Today is the feast day of St. Finian the Leper. He was born some time in the early sixth century and grew up to be a strict abbot and a vegetarian. He got his name when he contracted leprosy while healing a young boy. Another source says he did not contract leprosy, but once you get a nickname, it's hard to shake it.      Today is the birthday of James Madison, our fourth president, and more importantly, the Father of the Constitution. His own constitution was delicate, and he was sent to college at Princeton up in New Jersey to escape the oppressive heat and fevers of his native Virginia. When war broke out with Britain, he ...

Beatle Paul McCartney was born on Thor’s Day, June 18, 1942. Beatle George Harrison was born on Thor’s Day February 25, 1943                                   and died on Thor’s Day November 29, 2001. Fifty percent of The Beatles were born on a Thor’s Day. Twenty-five percent of The Beatles died on a Thor’s Day. Fifty percent of The Beatles weren’t born on a Thor’s Day. Seventy-five percent of The Beatles haven’t died on a Thor’s Day, as of 4:36 PM CST.     However, I’m tired of The Beatles. If I never have to look at them again, I’d do just fine. I’m not starting any fan clubs, not whistling any of their lively timeless tunes, not reliving my past through their albums--although many of them do hearken back to specific locations, sights and smells. I’m done with it. Done with them.       ...

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac for Word-Wednesday, March 14, 2018, brought to you by Ditchem, Kwik, & Hyde, LLC, divorce attorneys specializing in the accident-prone, muddle-headed, bad-tempered, slow-thinking rabble-rouser, with offices in Wannaska, New York, Pencer, London, Gatzke, Sydney, Greenbush, Beijing, Halma, and Mumbai. March 14 is the 73rd day of the year, with 2 days remaining until St. Patrick's Day, 5 days remaining until the spring equinox, and 292 days remaining until the end of the year. This date is slightly more likely to fall on a Monday, Wednesday or Saturday. Sunrise: 7:39am; Sunset: 7:37pm       Moonrise: 6:34am; Moonset: 4:28pm Today's Riddle: What do potatoes wear to bed?* Vital statistics for March 14 authors include: Albert Einstein, born 1879, Entwurf einer verallgemeinerten Relativitätstheorie und eine Theorie der Gravitation, among others Max Shulman, born 1919, Many Loves of Dobie Gillis Klement Gottwald, died 1953, Czechoslo...

Ooh...March 13. Unlucky, chain saw wielding, wander through the graveyard where the guy with a rusty knife is waiting thirteenth. There are many reasons why 13 is considered unlucky. There are biblical reasons, such as there being 13 people at the last supper. Traditionally there were 13 steps leading to the gallows. Anyone walking them was considered to be quite unlucky. The Knights Templar began to be rounded up on Friday the 13th. Luckily Templar readers, today is Tuesday. Having 13 letters in your name was considered to be a curse. I have 12 in my name so you can feel relatively at ease in my presence. On to other things. Last week I started with three unusual words and their meanings. This week I will add in one more word, and those who have mastered the alphabet have probably already guessed that I will be doing a word that starts with D. Drumroll please...wait, drumroll was not the word. Your D word has an acceptable and not at all unlucky 10 total letters. He...

Have you ever watched a feather falling, or picked one up already fallen to ground? Have you held a bird, large or small, and felt the silkiness of the layers of impossible patterns and colors? This poem is deeply metaphorical, as are many poems. For some reason, when we humans write poems, a bright, new language opens up – the language of the inner awareness and imagination. Often, the language of poetry is the only way we can express what we want to/need to. Even with the artistry of poems, the challenge remains of getting the images and symbols precisely right. For this, the metaphor device is often used. In past posts, we have defined the metaphor; however, permit me to repeat a few brief definitions: A figure of speech in which a word or phrase that ordinarily means one thing is applied to another thing to suggest a likeness between the two. Metaphors are often used extensively to paint a more colorful picture in the reader’s mind. A metaphor is a literary device that ...

Squibs bring up the news from all the local rabbit holes. Seniors are asked at their physical if they've had any falls. I don't count those that occur while dancing. Move your cachet to the spiritual side sooner rather than later. Your body can't stand the gaff forever. Will God protect the children in these turbulent times? Yes, now fasten your seatbelt, put away your laptop, and listen up! Good looks are nice, but personality's the true aphrodisiac. The fake-news-alternative-facts divide reveals that in the end, it all comes down to our personal values. To the polls now! Or to the ramparts later. I wish my high moral standards lacked the predilection to condemn all those who do not share them. There are nice people in all the foreign countries. The Brits have this advantage: I can tell what the hell they're saying. Routine helps us do the things we hate to do. But it doesn't help us stop hating them. Our heroes have feet of clay. The...

Two weeks ago, I shared an adventure story that included my middle child. At the time, he didn't appreciate the treasure to be found in fishing vintage  Tarzan books from the Wannaskan recycle bins. But, he did have his eye on another prize. You see, my son is crazy about cars. I'm not sure if this is a phase or a genuine lifelong love, but I can tell you that he spent the rest of the trip from Wannaska to the City of Great-Pronged Silverware composing an email for me filled with fun facts about cars for this very blog. (See below.) Which made me wonder.... What is it about a boy and a car? This unsolved mystery has followed me since childhood. My dad loved cars. He began his tinkering as young as 12 years old, as far as I can tell. This translated into side businesses. He also drag raced and built engines for race cars. His last race car was a 1962 Chevy Biscayne called Bisquick. (Which is why I may have been particularly enamored with the dog-themed book, The Art o...