The Palmville Globe Volume 1 Number 38
Man’s Trip Ends Prematurely
Joe McDonnell, 78 and residing in Palmville Twp, Minnesota, recently had a subway trip ended abruptly well before his expected stop. “We were riding on the subway in a large European city," McDonnell tells the press. "This subway is 162 years old and is very complicated. Lines have been merged and canceled over the years and for me it's visual overload when I go below ground with crowds coming at me, garish ads on the walls, and people playing the violin for coins in the tunnels. I try to keep in mind the station we're going to and the station at the end of the line. If you know the end station you can be sure you're going in the right direction. I remember the name of the destination station and my wife remembers the end of the line station. On this trip my wife said ‘We’re at the last stop.’ I said we can’t be because we haven’t reached our destination yet. I looked at the map of the line over the window and realized we needed to transfer here. Now! Fortunately there's a button to open the door so we were able to jump off the train just before it went back to where it had come from. I saw a station guard telling a family how to get to the station we wanted. It was reassuring to know I wasn’t the only one who was confused.”
Man Breaks Tire Removal Record
Joe McDonnell, 78 and a shade tree mechanic, recently removed two tires at the same time. "I've removed lots of single flat tires," McDonnell tells reporters, "but when we came home from a long trip we found two flat tires on our little pickup next to the garage. I had never used the jack for this truck before. I had to read the owners manual to locate the jack in a cubby behind the seats. The jack was covered in yellow dust because over the years a small hole has opened between the road and the cubby. The jack with three connecting rods had to go under the rear axle which was not easy to access when the tire is flat. It was much easier to jack up the front tire for removal." In a follow-up email, McDonnell says the cause of the flats was deep slashes in the sidewalls of the tires. "At first we chalked it up to vandals," he writes. "but after further investigation and consultation with the police, we decided the slashes were caused by a bear biting the tires. I prefer to think any mystery that comes our way has natural causes rather than otherwise."
Squib Cellar
I don’t fear public speaking. If I appear to be stuttering it’s because I’m cutting and pasting as I go.
Kids and old folks their age like to tell
Middle agers hide their age under a shell
Billions are being spent on perfecting AI, but the ghost in the machine is our own untreated imperfections.
Death’s training ground is sleep in a bed
Dreams hint at what may lie ahead
Non-celebs find love in their family, friends and pets.
The evil ones find it in their pets.
When someone on a Zoom meeting says something I don’t agree with, I have to remember to mute my eye rolls.
Yeah ... bears, huh? I'd more likely think it was a latent road rage incident. Someone you cut-off in traffic during rush hour in Wannaska, some poor toy factory worker who was at wit's end anyway, when you, or the Mrs., left Lee's Most-Wonderful Hardware Store parking lot without looking and very nearly put their on-coming vehicle into the gas pumps at Riverfront and careening off all the fifty gallon barrels of bear bait stacked on the river bank without so much as a "Don't you just hate all these Asian Beetles??" comment to your passenger.
ReplyDeleteThey followed you, saw where you lived -- then came back under the guise of darkness and slashed your tires -- among other things. Bears! Good grief!
Shade-tree mechanic. That's a new one for me. Where would i be without Google?
ReplyDelete