May 15, 2018

Welcome to the May 15 edition of the Wannaskan Almanac. Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is untrue. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

May 15 is a very important date in history. According to sources, this date has occurred at least once per year for thousands of years. It usually precedes the middle of the fifth month. Most of the time it is the 135th day of the year, but there is evidence that, on occasion, May 15 has fallen on the 136th day of the year. I think it is a leap of faith to believe those stories.

On this day in history:

69 AD The first April Fool's Day was held in West Sexington. That is why people always snicker when you say the number 69.
1234 AD The first recorded thumb war occurred between Roman and Greek thumb warriors.
1842 AD A person left Europe to come to America, apparently to work on the railroad.
1900 AD Y 1.9K is proven to be a hoax.
1901 AD First edition of Wannaskan Almanac is released by Franciscan friars. Sales are slow and the second edition does not appear until 2018.
1929 AD Stock markets continue to rise, Americans flock to by stock. President Hoover claims that nothing will depress the markets.
1955 AD First color TV is found in a clearance aisle at a Walmart store in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
2019 AD Tuesday columnist for Wannaskan Almanac wins Powerball lottery. Editor looks for new writer.

The word for today is mukanisew. This is a term of endearment. Make your day better by hugging someone and calling them your little mukanisew. See any website to find out how to pronounce it.

Many people of note were born on May 15. They include:

Alga Rithem...Chair of the math department at the University of Chicago.
Barbie Dahl...Doll model.
Crystal Ball...Fortune teller.
Denise Hirt...First woman to have a knee replacement.
Ethyl Gass...Chef who invented chili with extra beans.
Frieda Fish...recently retired Lake of the Woods enthusiast.
Ginger Vitus...inventor (tooth brush)
Hedda Haire...Stylist for the stars.
Inga Smorgasbord...Wannaska resident responsible for the current weight crisis.
Judy Side...Woman who drove her husband crazy on a dinner date.
Kelly Green...Packers uniform designer.
Linda Book...First Wannaska librarian.
Marsha Larts...Karate expert.
Nan Tucket...Limerick writer.
Ona Paar...Average golfer.
Polly Graf...Got caught in a lie.
Quince Anera...first boy to have a fifteenth birthday party.
Rhonda Blokkenbek...First person to travel the entire border of Roseau county.
Sandy Banks...Beach enthusiast.
Tess Tamoni...Sworn friend of Jimmy Hoffa.
Uri Turning...Friend of Ernest Shackleton.
Val Halla...Viking myth writer.
Wyatt Hertz...Long time Wannaska country doctor.
Xavier Tor...Former pilot.
Yan Keyclipper...First Wannaskan to sail around the world.
Zeke Ehler...Name ascribed to the dreaded Wannaskan cereal killer.

As usual, if you have complaints, comments, or just too much time on your hands you can email me at ffefreekshow@hotmail.com
I swear that your email will be received.