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Couch Baby

Hello and welcome to an April-showers-please-bring-May-flowers Saturday here at the Wannaskan Almanac. Today is April 27th. I'm thrilled to introduce the newest member of our family:  Bayment .  With four dark walnut legs, he stands 34" tall, is 77" long and 35.5" deep, "Bay" - as he's already affectionately called - is the the most adorable shade of khaki. Not too dark, nor too light, Bay is the perfect brown for our living room. After weeks of toiling over style and color selection with my trusted couch doctor Annika from The Furniture Gallery,  I cannot overstate my absolute joy.  Bay comes with not two, but four accent pillows - one set in a coordinating khaki print and the other set in "poppy" red - that look adorable nestled in his arms. The pillows are plump, happy additions that fit our little furniture family seamlessly. Our new bundle of joy also comes with a memory foam mattress creating new spaces for friends and family to rest the
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Relapse

     People often say "I need a vacation from my vacation," especially if their vacation has involved long periods of travel. Why not just stay home like we did during Covid, but without the masks? We couldn't breathe during Covid. But if we stay home we'll see things that need doing and that's no vacation.   After a vacation I need to rest and recover from the disorienting melancholy that awaits me inside the front door. There's the initial relief that the fridge is still humming and the basement's not full of water. There's always an odd smell, but that dissipates when the furnace is turned up.   There's a big pile of junk mail and magazines. The suitcases sit for a day. Let them. A deep tiredness has invaded me after long days of driving. It seems ridiculous that I should feel so tired in body and brain. We used to put in longer days, but 500 miles is now our limit. That takes 8-10 hours depending on which roads we take and how long our lunch br

April 25, 2024 Murder in Palmville

Just when you thought nothing exciting ever happened in Palmville Township, Roseau County, Minnesota.  

Word-Wednesday for April 24, 2024

And here is the Wannaskan Almanac with Word-Wednesday for April 24, 2024, the seventeenth Wednesday of the year, the sixth Wednesday of spring, the fourth and last Wednesday of April, and the one-hundred fifteenth day of the year, with two-hundred fifty-one days remaining.   Wannaska Phenology Update for April 24, 2024 Porcupines Are Out Porcupines are classified in two families: Old World ( Hystricidae ) from Italy, Asia, and Africa, and New World ( Erethizontidae ) indigenous to North and South America. The word "porcupine" comes from the Latin porcus pig + spina spine, quill, via Italian (Italian "porcospino", thorn-pig)—Middle French—Middle English. A regional American name for the animal is "quill-pig". A baby porcupine is a porcupette. When born, a porcupette's quills are soft hair; they harden with keratin within a few days, forming the sharp quills of adults. April 24, 2024 Hummingbird Migration Update April 24 Fickle Pickle Wednesday Menu Sp

Wannaskan Almanac for Tuesday, April 23, 2024 Sacrifices to the Sacred Cow

Wow...so many people complained about my far side parodies!  Thank you so much!  It must be apparent now that the Almanac exists to offend.  Due to that, here are more far side parodies.  Enjoy! Just like all parodies, these far side parodies are protected free speech.  Probably not, but it sounded cool to say it.  Have a wonderful day!

The Garden Walk

Two fat robins sip water from the gutters overlooking my open window. Warm air, buds on branches, fresh-cut grass, daffodils—everything about April gets me out the door and into the garden. I've already bought a big, red geranium plant, and I'm keeping it watered. My parsley usually winters over but gave out this winter, so I've replaced that. I've bought more Dahlia tubers; I can't ever have enough dahlias. This year, I'm trying red onions for the first time, and I will also try growing garlic. I like getting my hands into the dirt and getting my hopes up for what will follow. Along those lines, while paging through gardening books the other night, I came across a section on mazes and labyrinths—two classic garden walkways encouraging my tendency to muse. The Smithsonian assures me that mazes have been part of the human experience for thousands of years. Not surprisingly, for ages, only the elite had access to mazes. PBS television shows have made it easy for

Sunday Squibs

  Any fool can appreciate the mountains.  It takes a subtle eye to love the flatlands.  Self-improvement project: 1. Clear away debris 2. Look for building material 3. Realize the debris  is  the building material  One good thing about old age: when someone talks about something two, four, or six decades ago, I know just what they're talking about. Procrastination is not bad when applied to suicide Mushy love to some is A delectable treat  Gulp it down quick Or it turns to concrete man  is in woman he  is in she yes yes we can make splendiferous we The advantage to being an animal And not plants stuck in a bed We can be tumbleweeds Before we are dead For those born clumsy there’s no escape. If I put my coffee cup on the floor to avoid knocking it off the table, I’ll soon be kicking it across the room.  Why is it that after the immigrant struggles across the border, his or her grandchildren become dogs in the manger? The story of Philosophy is all about the good ship  Mind  tacking