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12 November 2018 – And So It Is – Not Done . . .

Life is not done, until it is. And at the end of the individual life, the universal life that contains every being – sentient and not – moves on. It is difficult for most people not to be greedy for more time. Even though endings are natural in our experience, many devise concepts and illusions to push back and say, not so – I will not end. Perhaps, it is the waiting that is most bothersome. Reality exists “as it is.” Yet, this suchness either is unbearable to see in its uncertain rawness, or it brings the greatest beauty and joy available to us. This dichotomy is undeniable. This poem attempts to capture the median experience – a sort if middle way.


and so, it is – not done . . .

part 1
no matter how many times
                        consummated
despite the rolling average decades
                        huddled together
                        
                        never long enough
                        for ripeness

regardless houses bought and sold
                        children raised              
despite anniversaries counted, memorials recalled
                        parents buried

                        refusal to grant credence
                        to tales of afterlife

stains and taints on the crooked heart
                        forever triggered
love won back with fervent flaming candles
                        bound to sputter                       

                        and so it is . . . not quite
                        and never, ever enough

not sweet-dark sweat nor sleeping
                        nor stars wished upon
neither miles’ passage nor counterclaims nor lies
                        nor oaths on crosses

                        no match for hallelujahs
                        despite accords reached and broken

no accusations proffered nor praises volunteered
                        make marble floors less hard for kneeling
                        or make them any more appealing

unreliable stale yeses drop graceless
                        from true-salt mouths
irretrievable nos overflow lips’ dams
                        over the edge of unfaithful tongues

                        never enough and too much
                        never done and done too soon

insufficient word-soldiers deployed too late
failed to arrive at the capitol’s gate
                        
                        thus it is completed
                        the matter not once done
                        nor sealed
                        nor consummated





                        part 2

while she waits up
            porch light glowing on again
                        as always
                        waiting
            for the finale never arriving
            driven hard by frost-mouthed mother
            close behind father flown away
                        uncharted
                        no plan for flight
neither even blowing kisses to their fell-dropped sons and daughters
                        huddled waiting
                        on their dull-lighted porches
                        for the sleeping watchman
                        with no letters or announcements

                        thus it is so
                        longer than never
                        a certainty with no resolve
thought sleeping partners will awake and be there
                        so near the truth
                        for those who sit
                        sit and wait
                                    the porch light burning
                                                hanging    waiting
                                                            for the messenger passing by
                                                            for word of what is and what is not
                                    for endurance to go on living what is yet to come
                                                            the one great thing
                                                            not done                      



Background
Much of living is about waiting – sometimes with the porch light on; sometimes in the dark; often enough under the warmth of a springtime sun. Knowing when one is waiting and when one is fully engaged is part of the strategy for addressing this paradox. Life is odd – full of wonder and delight one moment, and tragedy and sorrow the next. Fragility, thy name is being human. How to live with such experiential contradictions? I’ve been stewing over this poem since 2012, attempting to get the essence “just right.” How to explicate the parts of living that bring us pain, while welcoming parallel joy? The poem also contains more contrasts: 1) all the ways people attempt to “control” their lives with ritual and routine – kneeling, oaths on crosses, lit candles, and all the rest.

Part 1 of the poem sets the philosophical stage, whereas Part 2 makes that philosophy personal. Really, both parts explore the human experience in sequential time, as well as the never-stopping, unobstructed flow of past/present/future occurring simultaneously.

Exploration #1: Consider whether or not life experience is largely about “waiting.” How are we caught in the dualities of time – past present future, when if considered carefully enough, these three times are all one experience.

Exploration #2: What is the woman on the porch doing there, and what is she thinking?

Exploration #3: Take a deep dive into the title of the poem. How many ways are there to interpret the words and the punctuation?

Exploration #4: What’s up with the technique of using no capital letters anywhere in the poem? Challenge: See if you can find any caps? Prize for first person to do so.

Your Monday Poet, Jack Pine Savage











Comments

  1. Exploration 1: Yes, especially where waiting is associated with expectations.
    Exploration 2: The woman may be re-membering all the times in her life when she waited.
    Exploration 3: Innumerable, because of the "and". Every time one identifies an "it is" it begins again.
    Exploration 4: I counted the word so, 3 times; the word too, 3 times; the words it is, 3 times; the word nor, 5 times; the word never, 5 times; and the word wait/ing 6 times. Each seems like a cap of sorts. My favorite capping phrase is: "longer than never".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1. I resonate with your reaction related to expectations. I would add that waiting also relates to Buddhism’s “three times” in the conventional sense, wherein rather than abiding in each present moment’s arising and departing, we get caught up in fiddling with the past and useless projecting about the future.
      2. Yes. Indeed. In addition, I would add: Isn’t she waiting now? Why? For what?
      3. Ooooo. . . very nice interpretation!
      4. I’m curious what you discovered in counting the words. Glad you liked the capping phrase.
      Thank you for joining me in this exploration. Much appreciated.

      Delete
  2. 1. Waiting to die to see what's behind the curtain. When someone dies, I'm asked for prayers for the family and friends. It's the dead person who needs the prayers to help him or her find his way through the mists.
    2. In part one, the soul is dissatisfied with what's been set before her. In part 2, she waits for what is never going to come.
    3. I concur with Woe.
    4. "failed to arrive at the CAPitol's gate"

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  3. Will you be conducting a workshop for the uninitiated? Whereas I was delighted reading the poem, I confess to explain it I am ignorant. Sometimes ignorance is satisfying enough in its simplicity, as thinking too much too deeply only skewers its effect. It's like enjoying a beautiful artwork for its sheer beauty, it's impact on your psyche as it takes your breath away, its whirling embrace of your imagination--then be asked to explain your passion for it and be struck dumb.

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